Weekly Thoughts Archive

My girlfriend Elaine likes card tricks so naturally I have been learning a new card trick or two each week. I watch the videos, take notes in my official card trick notebook, and then practice before each date. I never did card tricks before, but they are fun – especially when I see the look on Elaine's face, her daughter's face, or her son-in-law's face! In addition to amazing others, I think it is good to learn something completely new. Who knows this could be just what I need to keep my brain sharp, young, and healthy (this should also counteract the weird ideas and thoughts going on in my brain)! If nothing else this proves you can "teach old dogs new (card) tricks!"

Definition – a recurring set of shared experiences and meanings that uniquely identifies a relationship. I watched a Ted Talk by Eli J. Finkel, and he said that couples that build and maintain a private world together stay together. It can be a word, an image, or even a song that means nothing to the outside world and everything to the couple. It made me think about my relationship with Elaine – in a short period of time we have built a private world that is important to us but would mean nothing to others. How is that possible? First, you need to find something unique that you both share and understand. Next, you need to feed it and build on it. Lastly, like anything worth keeping, you need to fight for it. If you are in a serious relationship, identify the tiny moments that are special to you and your partner and nurture them realizing that these are the atoms of your own private element.

Did you ever blink and things suddenly changed? I blinked and I was suddenly 68 years old. I blinked and I now have three adult children in their 30's. I blinked, and it's been 12 years since my 30-year marriage ended. I blinked and somehow, I am signed up for Medicare Part A. I blinked and my father has been gone for over 43 years. I blinked and it has been 50 years since I graduated high school. I blinked and suddenly I met an incredible woman, and it seems like I have known her my entire life. Perhaps things have changed over a longer period of time, but it really seems like they happened in the blink of an eye. The moral to the story, don't blink or more realistically that time has a way of moving quickly and if you don't stop to enjoy life's little moments, they will pass you by in the blink of an eye.

Definition of game – a form of play with a specific goal undertaken for enjoyment, competition, or learning. Life to me is a game, mostly undertaken for fun and enjoyment, always learning and with a little competition sprinkled in (usually competing against myself along with pickleball too). As we all realize life is short – so make it a game, the goal of the game should be to enjoy it to the fullest. Make up the rules to your own game of life (live on your own terms) and decide how you win (but realistically make it a win, win, win if possible). You should decide how to play, who to play with and when the game is over. Lastly, remember, it doesn't matter if you win or lose it is how you play the game that really counts!

Things we did as children that you wouldn't be allowed to do today OR doesn't exist anymore. I once sat at the bar (in a tavern) with my father. While I was eating Beer Nuts and drinking a 7up, the guy next to me caught me looking at his .38 Colt snub nose revolver on his waist (he was a Chicago police officer). He took it out of the holster, took the bullets out and handed it to me (they would have closed the bar today). My friends and I walked .9 miles to Riis Park by ourselves, crossed two busy streets (Grand Ave. and Fullerton Ave.), swam for hours at the public pool, and walked home (no one was worried). In grammar school we would go home for lunch, let ourselves in, make lunch, watch Bozo, and go back to school (DCFS was never called). Our family had a party line that we shared with the Bobrowski's. There were times that we would pick up our house phone and Mrs. Bobrowski would be on it (speaking in Polish) and we had to politely ask her to hang up so we could make a call (and people worry about their privacy today?). You could do a lot with a dime when I was 10 years old, you could buy a full size candy bar, make a phone call at a pay phone, buy a newspaper, buy two first class stamps (they were 5 cents each), or buy a glass bottle of pop from a vending machine. In 5th and 6th grade (between 10 and 12 years old) we had 'patrol boys' (crossing guards) and they got to wear orange belts and stop traffic for children to go to and from school at intersections (can you imagine the liability today!). We would hide between parked cars on one-way streets in the winter and sneak out to 'skeetch' – grab the bumper and go for a ride with passing cars. No one that I am aware of had a peanut allergy, required gluten free food or was lactose intolerant (we were simply tough kids). In the summer if we were thirsty, we drank from the hose (no Brita pitchers needed). We had our temperature taken with mercury thermometers and if one broke it was cool to roll the mercury around on the floor (today we find out there is a special risk to children – low level exposure can lead to reduced intelligence, hearing loss and coordination problems – well that explains everything)!

We celebrated our 50th high school reunion and a lot of moving pieces came together to make it a fun evening. But below the surface of the laughter, music, and conversation there were a mix of emotions in play. For example, about 40 of our classmates are no longer with us and we recognized them at the memorial table. As I spoke to people it became apparent, we have all had our share of issues from personal medical issues, marriage/relationship highs and lows, aging parent issues and family passing away but it was balanced out by joyful things people have experienced and encountered in life. It was fascinating to hear the career paths that some people took from beneath the earth (oil drilling) to the skies (working for the airlines). It was also interesting to see who was still working and who was retired. I think two topics of conversation were a tie - grandchildren and knee problems. At the end of the event, it was again a mix of emotions because while I hope most people enjoyed the evening, there was a small feeling that this could be the last time we have such a big, organized get together and who knows what the future holds for any of us. The takeaway, reminisce with friends about the past, be hopeful/optimistic for the future and be grateful for what you can squeeze out of the present.

It is once again the time of year where I find myself lucky enough to celebrate the earth making a complete orbit of the sun, It's been fun! I say that because if my math is correct, I will be turning the age of 68, I feel great. This journey I call 'my life' has taken me on an interesting path where I have met many, Enjoyed it plenty, Because even though there have been some highs, and some lows and some in between emotion, I have stayed in motion. I have been fortunate to have known many people, raised three good kids, have a good family, and have many people I call friends, But that's not where it ends, There have been many sunny days, a few where it has rained but don't get me started about when it snows, Always froze my toes. But like everything else it has been a learning experience, and the most rewarding part of my life has been waking up every day, Ready to play! Because at the end of the day age is really just a number even though it seems to be getting bigger and bigger, I still have some vigor. And this year, in particular, I will be celebrating my special day with Elaine who is caring, warm and sweet, It'll be quite a treat.

Definition (deteriorate, loss of strength or weaker in condition). My mother recently turned 94 years old, and I can see a gradual decline in her physical and mental abilities, and it got me thinking, "Do we only see those around us decline and not ourselves?" We are obviously aware that we are aging (if you celebrate birthdays) and for example, we might stumble to recall the name of a movie or a person's name, but it eventually comes to us (hours later unless we employ Google for the immediate answer), so we aren't too concerned. The mirror reflects what we believe we see versus the true picture (a little self-deception). The point, it is much easier and clearer to see those around us get older than we ever imagine it ourselves. We also accept certain realities (like our 40-yard dash times are not what they used to be) but the brain is a remarkable organ that protects us from certain realities. The brain can even convince us that we get better with age and improve (like wine) but keep in mind that wine exposed to certain bacteria and oxygen can turn into vinegar. The moral to the story, avoiding certain bacteria and oxygen will keep us young (but avoiding oxygen might be another problem).

When I was younger, I worried a great deal about looking stupid, foolish, or awkward (I was all three no matter what I did). I was careful not to step out of my comfort zone, didn't take too much risk and really played it safe. Out of high school that all changed. I started to work out, started running, let my hair grow and started taking some risk. I started dating and having fun and I continuously ventured outside my comfort zone. In college I took theater and was in my first play, then took improv workshops at The Second City and from there I was running wild in the streets! This transformation rebranded who I was. I also continued to find things to do to reinforce and strengthen my brand. I liked Ted 2.0 because I realized life is short and why waste it being concerned about what everyone else thinks. My motto (was thinking of getting this as a tattoo but it's kind of long and not sure where it would fit and would probably really hurt to complete), "People stop thinking you are crazy if you don't do crazy things" – I must always protect my brand!

Nature persists – It is amazing how nature seems to persist. There can be a drought, but weeds continue to flourish. Plants grow in cracks of a sidewalk, between rocks or even on a dead tree. Nature has fortitude, resolve and tenacity – no matter what the circumstances (even after a wildfire) it comes back and sometimes stronger than ever. What if you were the same way, driven, focused, and determined to be successful, happy and flourish no matter what the circumstances? If nature finds a way to grow and thrive, you can surely put some effort toward personal growth no matter what your situation. Find a crack, or even a tiny opening to push through to reach some sunshine and to achieve your full potential.

In the last few years, I have made it a point to get rid of a ton of stuff, so when I do eventually die (which is still up for debate) my children don't have to get a drop box to dump everything. A few things I have kept, my father's canvas USPS mail delivery bag (reminds me when we would meet him with our bikes and walk his route with him). A handwritten letter from a girl (now woman) I dated in college (reminds me of an incredible period of change in my life). A leather western style holster with fake bullets - my dad melted solder in empty .22 caliber bullet shells and put them in the bullet loops with a cap gun - one of the coolest gifts I ever received from my father. My Boy Scout merit badge sash, it has 24 merit badges to make Eagle Scout and 5 more to get a bronze palm (reminds me that most things worth attaining take perseverance). A box of birthday cards from my parents some with notes inside (emotions captured and frozen in time like the mosquito trapped in amber in Jurassic Park). A 12-inch diameter Replogle globe that I won back in 1972 in Boy Scouts (I recall that night saying to someone next to me, I am winning that and I did). A Tom Thumb metal cash register of my father's (made in Jackson, Michigan in the late 40's – reminders of how well-built toys were many years ago). Each one of these items evokes an emotional response and serves as a memory anchor – because like an anchor, it keeps the memory from moving by keeping it still in my mind.

This word can be used in different ways. Some examples, "I met with five potential candidates" (possible or capable of becoming) OR "She shows great potential" (capacity for growth) OR "There is a high potential for rain today" (possibility of an event). One place the word 'potential' should be used carefully is in evaluating a relationship. To clarify, in the beginning of the relationship be optimistic about the potential but as time goes on if all you are doing is 'chasing the potential' you are headed for trouble. You need to focus on the now, the reality of the relationship and not what it might be or could be potentially. Base your decisions on your observations - in other words, date their behavior. Be optimistic but if you are simply running after the 'potential' relationship you risk disappointment and failure because it is like chasing the wind.

I am 5' 10" (not 6' as everyone thinks – perhaps it's the hair). I will never be a Jedi thus I will never be able to move objects or make someone think or say something (this used to be on my bucket list). Time travel will not be a thing in my lifetime (but I am holding out for reincarnation). The torn tendon in my right bicep will not reattach on its own (I am very disappointed that my body can't do this type of repair when I sleep). I will never be a CEO, billionaire, or President of the United States (I do enjoy being who I am, what I have and what I don't have). Lastly, that life on this planet (for me) will someday end (I simply need to find a planet where it will never end OR really put some effort into that reincarnation thing I mentioned earlier). Final note, I Googled reincarnation and it stipulates taking another life form – well that's a real gamble and what if I don't like the body I get or it's not human – I can see that being a whole new set of issues – but maybe I will eventually come to terms with the life form.

Last week I had to get an MRI – some things I learned. They take great 3D pictures, but they can't do 3D printing (I thought it would be cool to 3D print a copy of me). I can hold my breath for a good amount of time and could have gone longer (but no one likes a showoff). They make a lot of loud, strange noises (they should be able to reengineer these things to be quieter). I found out I am not claustrophobic (there is an opportunity to make these machines a little bigger – I'm not a big person, but if you are how do you fit in an MRI)? MRI stands for Magnetic Resonance Imaging – (I asked if eating a lot of tuna would blow the machine up – because of the mercury in tuna and they assured me it was OK). They injected GBCA (a gadolinium-based agent) into my veins to temporarily alter the magnetic properties of water molecules in my body (how cool is that – the downside I glowed in the dark for two days afterwards). They were originally called NMR (Nuclear Magnetic Resonance) machines - the word "nuclear" was dropped in the 1970s because developers worried it would scare patients away (you think)! Finally, the technician talked to me throughout the test, and it reminded me of a rocket ship takeoff – so to pass the time I pretended I was an astronaut about to be shot off in space – unfortunately, we never left the room – that was a little disappointing).

An object, place, or event established to preserve the memory of a person. This year marks the 50th anniversary of graduating from Ridgewood High School and one thing we are working on is a memorial for the classmates that are no longer with us. Looking at the yearbook senior pictures of those that have departed brings back memories of who they were in high school. The pictures reflect their youth and are at a point in life where anything was possible, being full of hope with seemingly plenty of time ahead. The memorial table is a small way to honor these people and remember who they were and that they were a part of our class. This table also reminds us that life is journey of different lengths. Why are some people taken from us at an early age? Why do others live long, healthy lives? At our reunion celebration, people will swap stories, catch up on life, share a few laughs along with some food and drink. I also hope people take a minute to reflect and recall something special about someone on the memorial table thus keeping their memory alive.

There have been times when I was a little unsure, or even intimated by something, but once I did it, it became a part of me. Some examples - After being married for 30 years and suddenly divorced it was scary to start dating, but it has turned out to be quite an adventure. Writing a book seemed like a huge task but I got it done and plan on writing a second one. In college trying out for a play was way out of my comfort zone but I received a call back and that lead to improv on stage at The Second City and even some standup years later. I once stopped by a low power FM station to sit in and listen to a radio show which led to doing three shows a week and then joining the radio's Board of Directors (and I have been doing a weekly radio show for over 16 years now). Lastly, I thought it would be fun to create a website and started to post weekly "Thoughts of the Week" and have done so for 22 years every week! You never know what you are capable of OR what you might be good at OR have fun doing until you try it – don't wait, take some risk, give it a shot and see what happens.

Life is like a song because like a song your life has a melody to it, there is a beat and there is harmony (the background music/people in your life) – you do not sing alone. There are pauses in music just as there are pauses in your life. Songs have low spots and high spots (just like the highs and lows in your life). There are many genres of music – pop, rock, country, jazz, classical and blues to name a few and depending on what is going on in your life you can fall into any of these. Some people have a life like a jingle – they grab people's attention, they are easy to remember, they trigger good feelings and they build trust. Overall, I hope your life's lyrics tell a good story and are meaningful. Make music you like and don't worry if you never make it on the Top 40 chart – focus on making yourself happy and establishing an emotional connection with your listeners (those around you).

The world is obsessed with AI (Artificial Intelligence) and I admit I find ChatGPT fun and useful at times along with Siri and Google Assistant. On the other hand, I am not big on artificial sweeteners, colors, or flavoring in the food I eat. I am also not big on people that are not genuine, and I value people being authentic, especially ones I am in a relationship with. Lastly, I believe that natural intelligence is something to strive for – pursuing lifelong learning and striving continuously to better yourself in terms of knowledge. At the end of the day, we need to develop AI but should never abandon the quest to enhance our own individual NI (Natural Intelligence).

The more years that pass by me prove that the calendar moves extremely fast, More time is in the past. When I look in the mirror, I am not sure I always recognize my own face, Goal is to age with grace. I also don't think I have changed too much over the years based on how I move, But I have lost a little groove. But getting older isn't scary, doesn't make me sad and really isn't all that bad, I'm actually glad, Because what I have come to realize as the years start to add up and all my hair has turned gray, I get to live another day, So, remember, there's no guarantee, promise or contract regarding how much time you have left to spend, Enjoy life until the end.

There once was a group of people who played throughout the land, But not in a band. Instead, they played a game that was a social event, exercise and fun called pickleball, Never a bad call. This group got together several times a week at different locations to play, It always made their day. It really didn't matter who they played with, how long they played or even the final score, They always wanted more. Their names are legendary including, Linda, Larry, Beth, Beth, Joe, Mike, Julie, Ted, Ivana, Fabio, and Dan, Some say they were part of a clan. But they were simply a group of people that enjoyed the community created around a game, Life was never the same!

Winter ends and we are suddenly thrust into Summer. That's good news & bad news. Good news, warmer temps are on tap but bad news that comes with a higher electric bill (versus a higher gas bill – pick your poison). Bad news, I must wear sunscreen but good news hopefully I don't get skin cancer a second time. Good news, I can drive my 1995 del Sol with the targa top off, bad news I should wear a hat. Bad news, if I wear a hat my effort to get my hair "just right" results in hat hair! Good news there is no salt on my car – bad news the birds take target practice with it. Good news the grass comes back to life, bad news I must cut it often (I have not outsourced this task). Good news I get to play pickleball outside – bad news I sweat like a beast which means I must shower at least twice a day. Bad news that means I use more water but good news I get a senior discount (I could open a water park and make money)! Good news there is high humidity which provides natural hydration that helps plump fine lines but bad news too much moisture can cause your pores to overproduce oil but good news a barrel of oil remains high (perhaps a lucrative side hustle). Lastly, good news in summer daylight lasts longer, the bad news, we have a finite number of summers during our lifetime - so get out and enjoy them!

I was on call last week for work (they can call me any time of day or night). I have been on call in one form or another for most of my career. The upside – I make a little more money and they pay my cell phone bill. It's also kind of cool to get called to corral the technology cats and get them focused on restoring service. The downside of course is you never know when something will break and how long it will take to fix (I was called recently at 10pm on a Tuesday and the call went until 2:30am in the morning). Even though it's nice to be important and wanted (like in any relationship), I will certainly not miss getting called at 1am in the morning after I retire. Some of the worst calls, one was 18 hours long – another was a 23-hour call – you see what you are made of when you work all day and then get on a 23-hour call. On that call my counterpart fell asleep at one point (some people actually get tired - go figure)! These calls can be addicting since I along with others, get on calls at times even when we are not on call. When my bosses, boss asked me how we could improve these calls I asked if they could do something like a Bat-Signal except shine something in the sky like "TED"! He said he would take it under consideration (now that would make me stay a little longer – how cool would that be in the night sky)!

I have been known to have fun whenever the thought crosses my mind! One of the funniest things I ever did was I waited in my sister's bathroom with a gorilla mask on after she got home one evening after seeing The American Werewolf in London. When she walked upstairs and turned on the bathroom light, I jumped at her and made a wild growling sound. She was very surprised; she screamed loudly and flew backwards into the radio toilet paper holder and smashed it! Clearly my idea of funny didn't equal hers. But the story this week is about a time we went to dinner after a baseball game. I was there with my wife (at the time) and my son Zach. We sat in a lower section and at one point I peeked over the wall and saw a family from our team, but they didn't see me. I raised my phone like a periscope over the wall and zoomed in and took a picture of them. My son had the player's number, and my wife had the mom's number, so I text the picture to the player and his mom and asked, "How is the food?" As I watched through my phone periscope, they were wildly looking around trying to determine who took their picture and sent it? They stood up, walked around a little but never came down to where we were sitting. After about 20 minutes I walked over and they instantly knew who sent it. They were relieved (because they were a little scared) and they shook their heads in disbelief. Another example where my idea of funny didn't equal their idea of funny (but for the record it was funny)!

Leonardo da Vinci was considered a renaissance man – his expertise spanned multiple subjects. Historians say his work was driven by intense, restless curiosity. Today the playing field has been leveled by Siri, Google, and Gemini – all you do is push a button, talk and you instantly get the answer to your question. You can use ChatGPT to get a resume, a poem, or a business plan. You can search YouTube to figure out how to do anything. We have all become instant geniuses and renaissance people EXCEPT while these virtual assistants and apps have made life easy and give us instant responses it has also zapped our ability to think a little. Many years ago, there would be a discussion about "What year was that movie made?" OR "How old is (a celebrity)?" OR "How many miles are there in a kilometer (I Googled it, .621 miles in a kilometer)? Today there is no need to think, no need to ponder an answer – it is literally on the tip of your phone's speaker. Again, while I enjoy the availability and access to more than The World Book Encyclopedia used to offer it has made me a little lazy. But on the plus side I can claim I am a renaissance man (albeit a virtual one).

Definition: Someone who intentionally studies, cultivates, and spreads joy daily to improve mental, emotional, and physical well-being. They help others connect with happiness to manage life's challenges. I finally think I know what I want to be when I grow up – a joyologist! Not a Geologist, or a meteorologist or a urologist but a CJ (Certified Joyologist)! Do you need to take online courses to get this degree? No, not at all. Some daily habits to start, 1) seek joy in all that is around you, 2) focus on the positive, 3) practice mindfulness, 4) prioritize your own worth, 5) let go of judgments and accept yourself, and 6) choose to live in a way that makes you feel alive (don't just go through the motions). Just think for a moment what the world would be like it we all focused on spreading a little joy. Think about how different your own world would be. My advice going forward, celebrate small wins, savor special people and special moments in your life and experiment a little using joy as medicine – zero reported negative side effects!

Last week I bought a 1995 Honda del Sol and it is a trip back into time. It is a small car and side by side it looks like my 2020 Civic had a baby! I had to open the door with a key (it's been a while) and once inside I threw the key on the seat next to me because there was no tray. I then realized I needed the key to start it (been pushing a button for years). It has an AM/FM cassette radio (anyone want to sell your old cassettes?). When I turned on the radio all I got was static – I realized I had to pull the telescoping aluminum antenna up to get reception. Of course, there is no Bluetooth connection so I can't use the car to make phone calls. I wanted to replace the tires - no tire retailer sells 13-inch tires anymore – thank goodness for tirerack.com. Lastly, I know it's old because Illinois doesn't test cars older than 1996! Finally, I realized there are some similarities between the car and myself. It's old, but it still runs and looks good (just like me). It rattles and creaks a little (I snap, crackle, and pop a little now and then), it isn't as fast as newer cars (I have definitely lost a step in this department) but just like me it is fun, in pretty good shape for its age and it is a classic!

Younger people focus on different things than older people. For example, young people focus on grades, GPA, and their SAT score. Older people focus on their blood pressure, cholesterol, and PSA score. Some side-by-side comparisons (Y=Young, O=Older), Y = "I got 10,000 followers", O = "I got 10,000 steps", Y= "I stayed out until 2am" O= "I was in bed by 9pm" Y= "What's my max heart rate working out?" O = "What's my resting heart rate sitting in a chair?" Y = "I dated a girl who was a 9 out of 10" O = "My back pain today was a 9 out of 10" Y= "How many new experiences can I fit in" O= "How many errands can I combine into one trip" Y = "I get up every morning and go #2" O = "I hope I can go #2 sometime today" and finally, Y = "What is the starting salary?" O= "How much social security do I collect at 67 versus 70?" What we put emphasis on changes over time, perhaps it's because our priorities change, perhaps we must ration what we give attention to OR perhaps our mental concentration diminishes, OR perhaps when we are younger we have a sharper focus and when we get older it's a little blurry.

I gave my two-year notice at work last week. When I tell people they respond with, "Two year? Do you mean two weeks?" No, I meant two years. Some would say that seems like a long time, but they wanted me to stay another 5 years. Some ask, "Why do you want to keep working?" Here are a few reasons, 1) I enjoy what I do, 2) I enjoy the people I work with, 3) I like the company – good pay and great benefits (cheaper than Medicare), 4) I get to work from home (no commute for the last 6 years), 5) They like the work I do and I am respected, 6) I have fun on the triage calls I have to jump on to investigate incidents and I have created an atmosphere where even though it is a critical, stressful situation we are able to keep it light, 7) It is a challenge (I am going to have to find something as challenging after I retire), 8) I get to support several 'C' level individuals and I find that cool, 9) I still think I have some gas left in the tank and that I am able to contribute at a high level and 10) I find it hard to imagine myself as a 'retired' person. Note: I do have the option to retire before the end of two years so we will see how things go. All I know is it is going to be a hell of a farewell tour (think Rolling Stones) and I look forward to it!

Life is a little like a rubber band. When we are young, we are flexible, we stretch effortlessly, bounce back easily and we even have that funny new smell. Like rubber bands we are called upon to solve household problems, and we are built to withstand a certain amount of tension without breaking. As humans, we need to hold things together and be snappy (like a rubber band). But unfortunately, just like rubber bands, as we get older, we become less flexible and even a little brittle. We don't snap back as easily, and we cannot stretch like we used to (and like an old rubber band we might sag or droop a little). The key to life, stay as flexible, snappy, and resilient as a new rubber band for as long as you can and along the way try not to snap when under too much pressure or stress (and when you're pulled in opposite directions try to bounce back).

Definition – the mind's ability to form mental images, ideas, and concepts of things not present to the senses or never experienced. The other day someone said, "you have quite an imagination." As long as I can remember my brain easily and constantly comes up with ideas, funny things to say or do (at least I think they're funny), viewpoints or analogies etc. that others don't usually think of. Part of it I think is never having grown up at some level – a childlike wonder, asking questions (which I actually do for a living) and a certain level of creativity. Is it sustainable? I like to think so, for example, I have been writing a weekly 'thought of the week' for over 1100 weeks (21 years, 3 months) - granted not every single one is Pulitzer Prize winning. Another example, I have sent my girlfriend a morning and evening text for over two years that are unique, thoughtful, and/or funny with pictures (some assisted by ChatGPT) that I believe are creative. One last example of how what I observe turns into a thought to be expanded on, I went to the library the other day and the lady wrapped the two DVDs I was renting (yes you read correctly, DVDs) with a rubber band. On the way home what popped into my head – how life is like a rubber band (next week's thought of the week). How long can this last – hopefully forever!

When you get injured, it typically takes a certain period to recover and get back to normal. For me, the healing process varies (pulled hamstring = 9 days before I could walk without pain), pulled tendon on my bicep (pain comes and goes), herniated disc (L4/L5) will never heal unless I have surgery (thanks but no thanks). But what about emotional healing? There are a variety of significant emotional events ex., loss of a loved one, divorce, a pet dying and tragedies (car accident, house fire, etc.) to name a few. There is no norm or standard for this healing process. A physical event leaves you with a scar or even a deformity. An emotional event leaves you with an internal scar that you see when something triggers it (an anniversary, a song or even a smell). I hope that all the physical challenges you have faced or will face you are able to handle and recover from. I also hope that any emotional challenges you can handle and recover from as well because for many some of these never fade away.

Some of the rules that I live by, 1) If I think it is funny I am going to say it, 2) Keep commitments including playing pickleball three times a week, 3) Give people the benefit of the doubt to start with – but if they reveal otherwise, assume the worst, 4) Take responsibility for my actions (unfortunately even the verbal ones), 5) Keep my daily appointment with destiny – stepping on the scale, 6) Do something scary or risky at least once a week, 7) If a meal takes longer to make than it does to eat it, I don't have time, 8) Retirement is a concept harder to grasp than quantum mechanics (hence I will continue to work), 9) while driving if someone appears crazier than me I let them go (will not engage), 10) Be tougher on myself than anyone else & 11) If I think it is funny I am going to do it!

I generally like surprises, for example, if I find money in a pair of pants – nice surprise. If I find a dent in my car door, a not so nice surprise. Some not so nice life surprises, being let go from my employer in 2001, going through a divorce after 30 years of marriage, finding out my father had terminal cancer (he was 52 years old) or finding out the pain and numbness in my right leg was related to a herniated disk in my lower back. Some nice surprises, being thrown a going away party from leadership at American Express when I resigned, being called back from a play audition in college (I had never acted before or been in a play), being told an MRI revealed no issues with regards to three separate organs, a surprise 21st birthday party thrown by my girlfriend in college, getting positive feedback on my writing, finding out (on several occasions) that someone listened to my weekly radio show and enjoyed it. Life is clearly full of surprises, - some will be delightful and some can be frightful. Smile with the ones that make you happy and persevere through the ones that may cause you concern. They are the essence of life, the yin and yang of life – they are interconnected, complementary and exist in a dynamic, shifting balance – you need both to live in harmony.

Isn't it funny how everything can be going great (driving down the highway with no traffic ahead, a sunny day with no clouds in the sky or you are feeling good playing pickleball) when all of a sudden you hit something on the road, or rain starts unexpectedly (the weather app said "no rain today") or you pull a hamstring going for a lob. Let's focus on the hamstring scenario because next thing you know you can barely walk and there is a fair amount of pain, and you realize a silly nerve, the sciatic nerve is acting up. It is the largest nerve in humans, originating in the lower back and traveling posteriorly through the lower limb as far down as the heel of the foot. The dictionary says its major function is motor related and sensory related but that is not accurate. Its major function is to tell you that you didn't stretch properly before running around a pickleball court like a mad man. Its other primary function is to cause you pain walking, sitting, and bending over to do simple things like putting on a sock. Clearly a nerve I could live without but unfortunately it came as original equipment (I checked my 1958 owner's manual). I am also looking for my body's warranty to see if this part is covered and perhaps there has been a recall on mine and it needs to be replaced (I called my doctor and he laughed not realizing I was serious, so I simply laughed back). PS - with rest and physical therapy I am back to normal (my normal at least).

The practice of behaving in a way characteristic of a responsible adult. I think I have always been responsible, but when it came to acting consistently like an adult, I always found that to be a challenge. Some examples, lying down in the street in between the ramps I made for my sons to jump over me with their bikes (only received a small cut on my nose), getting a Honda Ruckus (49cc moped) and crashing into a parked car and one time making a U-turn in the street and went too wide - went up the sidewalk and across a lawn), pouring gasoline in several holes in the back yard to smoke out the bees and starting the side of the house on fire, electrifying a no kill animal trap with a car battery to teach a rodent a lesson for digging under the sidewalk, spraying a wasp nest on the porch and waiting for them to come out to hit them with fly swatters – they flanked me and my son and repeatedly stung us, flying down the sled hill after we issued repeated warnings to the kids dilly dallying at the bottom (it became bowling for humans), putting Sterno on a spoon, lighting it and flicking it under my mom's porch to get rid of the wasp nest then got the hose to put the fire out and discovered that wasn't a wise choice), painted the fascia on my last home by using a 32 foot ladder - I laid on the roof while my son held the paint bucket standing at the top of the ladder, knocking off a wasp nest at the side peak of my house while on a 24 foot ladder – I knocked it off and it landed on my head, and lastly, once when I went to a park with my children and the sign stated, ADULT SUPERVISION REQUIRED and they thought we couldn't go in because they were only with me. Moral to the story – have some fun and take some risks while teaching your children what NOT to do – after all they will learn from what you DO versus what you SAY!

If you were able to go back to a single day in your life, what day would it be? Would it be the birth of a child? Would it be an 'endless summer day' in your youth? Would be to a moment where you were driving and you would attempt to avoid an accident? Would it be your wedding day or your honeymoon? Would it be a day to simply have a conversation with a parent? Would you pick a day before you did something stupid that you always regretted? Unfortunately, we cannot go back in time – only forward until the clock runs out. My advice, pick a day in your near future and plan something memorable, something special that years from now you will wish you could go back to.

I like to think I give life everything I got. I am passionate about the work I do. I am crazy about the people I love. I get easily and overly excited when things don't go as perfectly as I expect. If I am remembered for anything I hope it is for my energy, my sharp mind (which sometimes allows words and phrases to slip out through my tongue), my silly sense of humor, my kindness and that I communicated what I thought and felt. I also hope that the only reason I will ever need a heart transplant is because I have poured it out and it is empty – eventually leaving nothing on the table. Finally, when I do eventually die, I have given my children strict instructions that if they don't get my hair just right, make it a closed casket (I can't have a bad hair day on my very last day)!

I went to my dentist last week because I had some mild pain on and off by an old, large, silver filling. I got an appointment because I am scheduled to take a trip to Florida soon and figured get it looked at before then. They x-rayed the tooth, my dentist reviewed the results, put his mask and gloves on, and carefully examined the tooth in question. He poked at it a little with the metal instruments and then said in a serious voice, "Based on what I see this will require surgery and I am unable to do it here. I would ask you go the ER immediately for this and you will probably have to cancel your trip to Florida." He could see the shock on my face and before I could speak he said, "Your sister was in before you today for a cleaning, and she mentioned how you bust her chops all the time and this might be funny to get him back" – she and my dentist got me big time! He really sold it and I fell for it! All I told my dentist besides you got me good – "when you live by the (humor) sword, you die by the (humor) sword."

In 1976 Jackson Browne released 'The Pretender' album and one song stands out, Daddy's Tune. Approaching the 43rd anniversary of my father's death, I am reminded that I played that song for him while he was battling terminal cancer. Two messages the song emphasizes are regret, "unkind things I said" and generational understanding, "the things you said are so much clearer now." It was my attempt to tell my father (since I didn't have the emotional capacity I have today) that his time was limited and I wanted to apologize for harmful things I may have uttered in anger and I was starting to realize that his wisdom I had ignored due to my youth and ignorance. As I reflect on my relationships with my three children, I hope I have effectively communicated my feelings toward them. This holds true for people I hold dear to me, especially my girlfriend. Lastly, the same applies to my mother who is 93 and in a nursing home – I leave no doubt in her mind regarding my feelings for her and how appreciative I am for how she raised me. I encourage everyone to let those you love or those that hold a special place in your heart, know how you feel because at some point the opportunity will vanish - as the song states, "I would turn the pages back, But time will not allow."

When I was young, I thought I would never ever run out of time, And would always be in my prime. At a certain age I also thought I had everything figured out and I knew it all, Life was a ball. As I have aged a little, and time has passed I see the world with different eyes, I hope I'm wise, I also hope that I haven't lost that youthful, fun little boy who was once so alive, Like when I was five, Because the world then was a place of wonder, and my life was a blank slate, It didn't matter what I ate. The reality is that we change a little based on what we experience, what happens to us and what we see, And wonder why there's pain in our knee. But I really cannot complain because I still have that spark in my eye, a sharp wit and a sense of humor, At least that's the rumor. And overall, I still enjoy what I do, the life I have, the friends I keep, and I thank God I can move on my own, Is it too late for a clone?

The other day I mentioned I am not as competitive as I used to be. Everyone moaned and protested, but I insisted it was true. Years ago, I would pretty much do anything to win. A few examples, in college we were in a bar and guys commented on a very attractive blond woman – I bet I could get her number and go on a date with her (I got her number, went on a date, and won the bet). Once I was racing a car down Nagle (in my 1979 Chevette of all cars) and parked cars were ahead (I was on the curbside). To get around the parked cars, I drove up a driveway, went down the sidewalk, and then back down a driveway and beat him to Lawrence! One minor problem, I almost hit a family walking out of their home (I didn't see them because of some bushes – lessons learned – keep your hedges trimmed so people driving down the sidewalk can see you). One time my left arm was feeling numb, so I went in for a stress test (treadmill where every 3 minutes it inclines more and speeds up). Two friends of mine had recently had them and I had to beat both of their times (you are supposed to tell them when you are tired and they push you for another minute – they stopped the test because my doctor wanted me to hit 185 bpm and I was at 225 bpm and I easily beat both of their times on the treadmill). What I have come to realize the older I get is that I have nothing to prove. I know my capabilities, my strengths, and my weaknesses. Being less competitive makes life flow a little easier, there is more calm in my life (and for most of my life 'calm' wasn't a word in my vocabulary) and overall, I think it is a better approach. PS – I still compete daily but only with the guy who is staring back at me in the mirror and trust me, he is more than a challenge!

Recently, many people I know got sick and I was no exception (caught a cold) – nothing life threatening but to me a major disappointment (I have unrealistic expectations about everything including my health). Some things that occurred as a result, 1) I had to cancel plans for Christmas (stayed home by myself), 2) I felt like a leper – stay away I am disfigured and highly contagious, 3) I had to take it easy (my body is not geared to 'take it easy'), 4) I slept even less than normal (which is very little), 5) I was reminded that I am human (another disappointing fact – I had thought I had been sent to Earth from the dying planet called Krypton), 6) I had even less patience than normal, 7) I had time to clean things I don't regularly clean (like the dryer vent tube – fascinating what was in there – almost like discovering a lost civilization), 8) I made a shocking discovery (having more time on my hands than normal) – I never took the protective plastic off the microwave control panel (bought it 3 years ago), 9) Living like a hermit doesn't mean you should stop shaving or showering (I offended myself if that's possible), and 10) no pickleball for a week (I think doing prison time would have been easier). In the end, I know many people that have suffered or are suffering with much worse – so it was simply a reminder I have very little to complain about (and that little voice inside my head told me to "suck it up buttercup").

It is almost time to say goodbye to 2025 and hello to 2026 which is the New Year, Have a beer, yell a cheer, or maybe shed a tear, Because it means you are a little older and unfortunately the passage of time we cannot stop, Make your resolutions chop, chop. I would also reflect on the year that has past and all that you saw, experienced, and did, Realizing you're no longer a kid. Which means enjoy each day, squeeze every minute you can because none of us know how much time we have left, I'm reporting a theft, A crime has definitely been committed because I just realized how old I am and 'senior' is what I'm called, And there's no way time can be stalled. There's also no way we can go backwards and get younger with the use of time travel, I'm starting to unravel. We basically must enjoy each day because that's what the year is made up of, So do what you love, And if we are lucky enough, we can continue to sing Auld Lang Syne, No need to whine, All we have to do is sleep well, get some cardio, have good genetics, do some weight training, think moderation, eliminate all your bad habits and eat right, We're in for a real fight!

Twas the night before Christmas and I couldn't believe how quickly the year had passed, It was too fast. And all through the house there was a very slight chill, Trying to keep low the heating bill. I sat thinking in the living room about all that had transpired this year, And it was clear, That it had overall been many good months on this spinning planet we call earth, I felt a little mirth! There also was not a sound in the house except the battery driven kitchen clock, Also noticed a hole in my sock. I did hear some clatter outside and wondered if it could be ole St. Nick with his sleigh, Wondered what that thing might weigh. But it turned out to be some young kid driving by playing his radio up high, I wondered why. As the night started to fade, it was time to go to bed because the next day a pickleball court was reserved and an early start time was set, Couldn't wait to break a sweat. As I started to nod off, I hoped and wished everyone I know had enjoyed the holiday, was safe and happy, It was time for a little nappy. Merry Christmas!