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Outsourcing listening 3/29/25– Many people are poor listeners because they are easily distracted, they’re focused on their own responses, lack of interest or maybe they don’t like the person who is talking. I think there is a more important reason – we have outsourced listening. Think of the technology around us that listens to us (and does a really good job of it too). Your smart phone hears everything and never gets distracted. Your Alexa or Google Nest hang on your very word. Siri can’t wait to hear her name called out and will respond faster than your children or spouse will when you call them. Some smart televisions have microphones and facial recognition technology (think about the last time you forgot someone’s name – bring your smart television along to assist in recalling their name). What does this all mean? It means that we don’t really have to listen anymore because our devices will bail us out. But I would argue we need to be as good if not better than our devices and need to pay attention. But if you insist on not paying attention you should set expectations by saying, “Talk to the hand because the hand don’t talk” – hopefully they appreciate your honesty.

Old versus aging 3/22/25 - As I celebrate more birthdays, I want to be as prepared as possible to age gracefully or as slowly as possible. At the same time getting old is something I wrestle with because while aging is a normal, biological process, getting old resides in the mind. While the aging process is altering your cells, adding some wrinkles here and there, turning your hair gray, creating arthritis along with some random aches and pains (if you like surprises you will love these), the mind (I believe) is doing its own thing. In other words, even though the calendar says you are aging, you aren’t old until you believe you are old. This is more than denial, it is a state of mind, your focus, and your attitude. I have always been a believer that the body will do whatever the mind believes it can do. Keep that in mind (no pun intended) when you are feeling old – that feeling starts in your brain, replace it with a younger focus and more youthful ideas and see how your body responds. It is simple, refuse to get old and you will stay young forever.    

A simple trip to Costco 3/15/25  - I recently became a Costco member and Saturday morning I got there when they opened, with the goal of getting in and getting out. I found the first item I was looking for easily, the second item I had to ask for directions, and after a few trips up and down several aisles I abandoned the idea of looking for the last two items. The self-checkouts only had two people waiting and I thought “so far so good” (but I was premature in my thinking). I went to an open register and it displayed, “Scan your Costco card”, I scanned mine several times and nothing, I might as well have been waving a brick across the screen so I asked for help and the lady said, “You have worn off the bar code” and I replied, “This is my second time here” – she said, “Really?”, and I said, “Yes.” She said you need to go to the service counter and get a new card. Problem is I didn’t know it was going to be picture day at school, and I wore a hat (didn’t do my hair) – definitely no pictures today! Next, I had to pay – no where on the screen was there a button for credit card so I hit what I thought was the correct button – nope, strike two. I asked a different employee for help and finally was able to use my credit card. I can explain Einstein’s theory of relativity and for a living facilitate multiple IT technical support teams to resolve major incidents but can’t use the checkout at Costco! And apparently someone has been going into my wallet and rubbing my Costco card (very unusual fetish). I set up a camera on my wallet – I will find out who is behind this unauthorized rubbing! 

 Limited vs. Unlimited 3/8/25 -  We are constantly reminded that there are limited natural resources that we cannot waste. As humans we have a limited time on this planet measured by years, months, days, and even heartbeats. Other limits, 10 items or less checkouts, speed limits on streets and highways, blood alcohol limits, you must be so tall to ride a certain rollercoaster, even limits on the weight of a suitcase when you check luggage at the airport or you pay an additional fee. At some point you might think you are confined at every turn in life, but I would argue against that theory. A few things come to mind that you have an unlimited amount of such as, smiles, kind words, laughs, good deeds, hope, positive thoughts, seeking knowledge and the capacity to love. Remember that even though we exist in a world set with certain limits, many things at our disposal are unlimited – make these count with the limited time you have.

Connections 3/1/25  – My girlfriend was playing ‘Connections’ on her phone the other day - you are given 16 words, and you need to find groups of four that share something in common. This led to a discussion how to me, my thoughts are connected but that others don’t always see the connection. We will be talking about a subject and I easily jump to other topics to the point where it is like taking a wrong turn on a trip and miles after that wrong turn you are attempting to understand how you got there. I recall many times talking to my mom and at some point, she would stop and ask, “What are we talking about now?” Perhaps the connections I make are deeper making it difficult to see the connection (like telecommunication cables on the ocean floor – they are there but you must go down several miles to see them). Or perhaps the pieces of the conversation puzzle just fit together a little bit differently for me than the puzzle pieces others see. Lastly, it could be that my prefrontal cortex just feeds me random thoughts and tells me they are connected (if this is the case - shame on my prefrontal cortex)!

 FERBONWART 2/22/25 - no it isn’t a German word or a type of nail fungus - it stands for my recent trip to Florida!
Friendly people
Extraordinary nature
Relaxing
Beautiful weather
Oranges on the license plates
No worries or timetables
Well stocked rental
All around fun time
Romantic
Time moved slowly 

Life turns on a dime part II 2/15/25 – I was talking to a close friend of mine whose wife recently had cancer surgery, and he commented how, “Life turns on a dime” – his world and certainly his wife’s world changed instantly with her cancer diagnosis. I realized there were plenty of examples that reinforced his comment. For instance, I was talking to a friend on the phone as she was driving her dog to the vet. At one point the call dropped and I called her back, and it went to voicemail – turns out she was in a car accident while talking to me and totaled her car (she was OK). My mom fell and broke her hip and that was the last time she has been home (hospital, rehab and now a nursing facility). One day I am running and the next day I am dragging my right leg (herniated disc pinching the nerves to my right leg). Years ago, I had a first date with a woman and before we had our planned second date (4 days later) she went in for cancer surgery and came out with a colostomy. The fires in L.A. are another example, people’s homes were gone in a blink of an eye. I could go on, but you get the point – life can change in an instant and everything we once had, knew, enjoyed, or were used to is gone. Moral to the story, revel in all that you have and can do. Realize that our lives are merely an illusion because of how quickly they can be altered. If the sun is out face it for the warmth before a cloud covers it, if there is joy in your heart share it with someone before it fades and as long as there is life in you – live it until the last drop.

Relentless pursuit 2/8/25 - When I was younger, I was rarely satisfied with what I accomplished. It didn’t matter if it was grades in school, merit badges in Boy Scouts or winning at games. I saw life as a competitive battle. In my teens it ranged from an occasional drag race to betting someone in a bar I could get a girl’s phone number – until it became exhausting. As I aged, I started to compete against myself. How much could I get done on a weekend? How fast could I run a certain number of miles or how many jump ropes in a row could I do (until I herniated a disc in my back). I then turned to counting steps and was consumed with doing more and more (103.5 miles is my current record for one week). At the same time, I became fascinated with how many chin-ups and pull-ups I could do until I had to have x-rays and a CAT scan because I pulled a muscle in my chest (they wanted to rule out heart related issues). I finally learned that while it is OK to compete against myself there must be limits or there can be consequences. I have learned to listen versus ignore my body especially with my current obsession – pickleball. My rules, not two days in a row, stretch before, during and after the games, wear braces on each knee, a back brace and prescription goggles and no more than 1.5 hours at any one time. Q. What have I learned in all of this? A. It can be tough simply competing against myself so there is no need to bring anyone else into the picture!   

 Extra mucum productio 2/1/25 – Latin for “too much mucus production” – a medical condition that I am naming after myself. It’s been over 2.5 weeks since my body apparently is trying to protect the membranes from damage (I had an upper respiratory infection (now gone) but still have been blowing my nose). Now I want to make this very clear, I am not complaining – I know many people who are dealing with more serious health conditions, but it is very annoying. As a result, I had to make some lifestyle changes. First, I bought stock in Kimberly-Clark (makers of Kleenex – I am a customer and now a shareholder – basically paying myself every time I blow my nose). I take non-drowsy Allegra in the morning and near the end of the day a drowsy Xyzal – an upper and then a downer ‘Elvis’ style. I contacted Waste Management for another garbage can – the one I have is overflowing. Lastly, I am in the process of inventing a small nose bag to capture drainage – this way I can work, exercise, play pickleball and carry on my normal day to day activities without stopping to blow my nose. Finally, I found a nice traveling spittoon on Amazon in case the small nose bag looks awkward.