Alcohol 3/11/23 – Most people know I don’t drink. It hasn’t always been easy telling people that. The first party I went to I didn’t want to tell anyone so I bought a six pack of Heinekens, dumped out the beer, washed the bottles and filled them with ginger ale and then recapped the bottles with an antique bottle capper my father had. Needless to say I polished off a six pack of Canada Dry ginger ale quickly to the astonishment of my friends with not even a buzz. Throughout the years I made excuses like the medicine I was on would interact negatively or I was the designated driver that night. Years ago at a work dinner the big boss from New York asked me why I wasn’t drinking and I told him, “the last time I had a drink was 1978 and three people got killed.” The room went silent, everyone looked around not knowing what to say until I stated, “I’m only kidding.” There was some nervous laughter after that and my boss pulled me aside and said that could have gone either way so I took that out of my response bank. These days I feel comfortable telling people I don’t drink but when I meet new people I can’t resist telling them the truth if they ask me. I look them straight in the eye with a slightly crazed look and tell them, “the reason I don’t drink is because it is part of my parole stipulations” and strangely they never ask me again.
Shiny objects 3/4/23 - A friend recently told me that the pursuit of shiny objects wasn’t all that it was cracked up to be. In all fairness, if you go back to when you were very young, bright, dazzling things caught your eye. As you got older, fancy watches, rings and other objects of desire that brilliantly captured and reflected light also made you take notice. The exception I believe she was pointing out is when you are searching for a partner, the flashiest person isn’t always the best option. In my experience her advice has a large element of truth to it because if you are focused solely on the individual’s exterior (physical or material attributes) and don’t care or take the time to explore what they have in their heart and soul you can be easily deceived and ultimately disappointed. The moral of this story – certain things that glitter are fine to seek out but keep in mind that even silver easily tarnishes over time. On the contrary, what’s beneath the surface will hopefully never lose its luster or radiance since the light that continuously flows from within a person, that originally captured your attention, never fades.
Sleuthing 2/25/23 – Several months ago I added a new role to my list of responsibilities at work – detective! That’s right, I get to summon key individuals and question them using the ‘5 WHY’ methodology (asking a series of questions starting with ‘Why’ until we uncover the problem root cause related to a particular incident). When I started, I immediately was going to buy a baggy suit (since I have a classic fedora) and wear it during the questioning like Bogart playing Sam Spade but I thought that may be too much. I want to be revered like Sherlock Holmes (but alas I conduct these meetings by myself and without a Watson it’s not the same). Oddly it always seems that when the meeting is almost over I always have one last question I want to ask so I am a little like Columbo (minus the cigar and old car). In the end, I think I am really more like Inspector Clouseau, perhaps a little clumsy and bumbling but somehow I always get to the bottom of the incident.
Learning 2/18/23 – Throughout our entire lives we are learning. As soon as we are born we start learning from our environment, our parents, siblings, friends etc. As we enter the education system we ramp up our learning in a formalized manner. Individuals continue to learn by reading, being exposed to all forms of media, taking classes, courses and certifications etc. While this focuses on what is considered by most as traditional learning, do we sometimes neglect learning about ourselves? An inward focus is needed to grow as an individual and to evolve to the best version of ourselves possible. One way you can achieve (learning about yourself) is through meditation and intentional inner reflection. One of the best ways I have found to learn more about myself is through relationships. Through these interactions you receive feedback, you observe your feelings and reactions and better understand the part your role plays in the relationship. If you pay close attention you will learn more about what you want, what you like, your strengths, your weaknesses and ultimately who you are.
Valentine’s Day 2/11/23 – With Valentine’s Day only a few days away, it reminded me of some of the fundamentals needed to form a lasting, solid relationship. These ingredients can vary, and you don’t need all of them but the more you can put into what you are baking, the better. Honesty, trust, respect, caring, not taking your partner for granted, empathy, listening and solid communication. Being able to laugh together, having each other’s backs, and being able to express your thoughts and feelings without fear of rejection are all important. It is essential to keep the spark alive with a little creativity, surprise and remembering that date nights are not just for those just starting out. Lastly, discovering what intimacy means for your partner and sharing some similar interests keeps more than just the pilot light on. Happy Valentine’s Day to you – may you keep things alive and thriving with the person you are with OR may you find someone that is committed to making such a relationship work.
How did I get here? 2/4/23 - We used to rely on paper maps to get to our destinations and today we can use Google Maps or Waze (for examples) to get where we want to go. But when you have a moment ask yourself, “How did I really get here?” It isn’t an easy question to answer. At any moment in time, you are where you are at due to an endless series of decisions, choices, circumstances, luck, moves, mistakes, education, habits (good and bad ones) and perhaps even a little bit of fate sprinkled in. Can we really determine the path we have taken to understand how we got here? To track all the components that have landed you here would be mind boggling. Even the NSA couldn’t track all the ingredients that went into this particular recipe. So instead of asking “How did I get here?” you might ask, “Am I making the most of being here?” OR “Am I happy with where I am?” OR lastly even ask “Do I know where I am?” By answering some of these questions you will hopefully determine if you are at least where you should be (regardless of how you arrived here).
Becoming Ray Rayner 1/28/23 – I use a great deal of paper. On incident calls at work, I scribble notes on 8.5 x 11 notebooks. I write notes on small pads of paper for my grocery lists or my “to-do” lists. If I get an idea for an article I immediately grab whatever paper is handy and write it down. When I worked in the office I had post-it notes everywhere in order to access info quickly (except I must admit searching dozens of post-it notes on a cubicle wall wasn’t as efficient as originally intended). I think I am becoming a little like Ray Rayner (host of Ray Rayner & His Friends from 1964 to 1981 on WGN) who used to have little pieces of paper on his jumpsuit (before post-it-notes). He would pull them off to tell you what was next on his show. I am not to that point yet, but it is an idea in case my current system fails me (although in public, it might solicit stares from people). But realistically I will never truly become Ray Rayner unless I get a duck named Chelveston, a talking dog puppet named Cuddly Dudley or start conducting little turtle races (so I think I am safe for now retaining my own identity).
Danger Will Robinson 1/21/23 – The little voice inside me that is continually warning me was non-existent or very shy when I was younger. I never heard that voice saying don’t use that 24 foot one piece wood ladder that is really old to get on the second story roof of the house, don’t knock the bee’s nest off the peak of the roof while you are standing directly below it, don’t drag race down the side street, leave the snow on the garage roof alone while you are on a ladder and it’s icy out and finally don’t use (flammable) wasp spray after you started gasoline on fire to rout wasps from an underground nest. Perhaps that little voice of reason doesn’t fully develop until you have had a number of mishaps. For example, last year I climbed out my sister’s second story window and stood on her roof nailing back the aluminum trim. That little voice was immediately flashing possible future scenarios that all ended in injury or bodily harm. It had me asking her what her homeowner’s insurance coverage encompassed. Years ago it never said a word, never issued a warning and really never seemed to care. Needless to say I am happy that little voice has become an extrovert and has issued warnings to me on several occasions of possible UAE’s - unpleasant alternative endings.
What are you looking for? 1/14/23 - Here are some things singles (my age) state they are searching for, sense of humor, communication, honesty, respect, a partner to share life with, someone to grow old with and a travel companion – pretty standard and expected. Someone once told me they were looking for an alliance (and if you lied you broke the alliance). Definition, “a relationship based on an affinity in interest, nature or qualities.” Someone once told me you had to take into account “the dance of personalities” in dating which really made me think. Most people agree that cultivating relationships in your 60’s is much different than in your 20’s or 30’s because of the passage of time, your experiences, likes/dislikes, your focus (for example, starting a family versus having a family), the amount of time spent alone and the independence you have gained over the years and have come to enjoy. One almost universal comment I’ve heard is people like themselves at this age more than they did years ago (and I wholeheartedly agree). To keep things simple I’ve always looked for the four C’s, chemistry, connection, communication and commitment. For those still searching best of luck to you in your quest and for those that have found what they are looking for, congratulations and may it last forever. Lastly, I think what Springsteen states in Born to Run sums it up nicely, “I want to know if love is wild, Babe, I want to know if love is real.”
Some things don’t add up, some do 1/7/23 - It’s funny how things add up over time. I have had the same vanity license plate on a variety of cars for over 40 years (it has traveled hundreds of thousands of miles). To be fair it has been replaced several times due to corrosion but for this story go with it. That license plate is older than any of my children and has been a faithful companion for a long time. Good news people know it’s me no matter what car it has been on. Bad news people know it’s me no matter what car it has been on. I started my first job back in 1975 – entering my 48th year of work (over 1200 paychecks – where did all that money go?). Started writing a weekly blog in December 2004 – going on my 19th year – over 900 thoughts/articles. Starting my 13th year on the radio – over 600 radio shows. Lastly, I started cutting my hair in 1980 – going on my 43rd year. I can’t recall exactly how many haircuts but it’s probably safe to say over 150 (no appointments, no tipping and no one to blame but me if it doesn’t turn out just right). If something works, keep it going and if you are lucky it will add up.
Once Upon a Time in 2023 12/31/22 – I recently watched Once Upon a Time in Hollywood (set in 1969) for the 3rd time. Many historic events that took place that year - a massive number of people descended upon Washington protesting the Vietnam War, Woodstock, Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, Sesame Street debuted, first Boeing 747 took flight and Abbey Road came out (last album the Beatles did together). But back to the movie at one point a hitchhiker flashes the peace sign to Brad Pitt’s character and he responds back with one. I realize the ‘V’ sign was initially used to signal victory by the Allied nations during WWII but I have always known it as the peace sign. When I saw them flash each other the peace sign all I could think of was what if we brought this back? What if while driving instead of the ‘finger’ you flashed a peace sign? What if gang signs were replaced with peace signs? What if Democrats and Republicans used them while interacting with each other? I think the peace sign would be a thoughtful gesture to bring back and put into regular use. Perhaps a New Year’s resolution? Who knows, maybe this simple non-verbal action could actually promote peace in the new year. Happy New Year’s my friends and however you can do it, be a promoter of peace, goodwill and kindness in 2023!
Good kids 12/24/22 – When I was younger and asked my mom what she wanted for Christmas all she would say was “good kids.” I thought you have to be kidding, that requires some serious effort over a period of time and would be really hard to wrap and put a bow on. Fast forward some years and my children say I am very hard to buy for (in case they read this, a Tesla S Plaid would be nice, only $136k). But seriously, I want good kids too (and they already are) and I really don’t need anything. I also want my kids to be happy, healthy, pay their bills and enjoy life. Plain and simple, nothing too complicated. Perhaps we eventually become our parents but I need less the older I get OR maybe it just takes a long time to realize that Christmas is not about gifts, not about how much you spend or not about how big your Christmas tree is. For Christians, it’s about celebrating the birth of Jesus. In addition it’s about togetherness, time spent thinking of and doing for others, understanding what is truly important in life and being the best version of ourselves. Merry Christmas my friends (or whatever holiday you celebrate) and may this holiday season bring you joy, happiness, good health (and if you have them, good kids)!
Familiar ground 12/17/22 - My father, brother-in-law, aunt, uncle, grandparents on my mother’s side and one of my mother’s uncles are all buried at Elmwood Cemetery. I recently went to put Christmas wreaths on a few of these graves. I stopped at my father’s grave first. After putting a wreath on and cleaning around the headstone, I put a little charcoal disk on the ground, put some incense on it, lit the charcoal and watched it burn and smoke. The smell and smoke eventually died out, I said a short prayer and moved on to my grandparents grave to repeat this ritual. Visiting my grandparent’s grave takes me back to 1967 when my grandfather died. I recall going with my mom after church on Sundays. She tended to the flowers, weeded and watered while I brought water back and forth. On certain occasions we would flag down a priest to have prayers read. The priests in their long, black robes appeared to float between the headstones as they made their way to us. I make trips to this cemetery now on Father’s Day, Memorial Day, some birthdays and Christmas. The world has changed dramatically since 1967, but when I pass through the cemetery entrance, this world is frozen in time. It is a testament to the fact that while this space will remain unchanged and very familiar to me, outside of this space the world will continue to evolve, change and at times be very unfamiliar to me.
Songs 12/10/22- It’s funny how you can hear a certain song and you instantly recall a moment in time or an event in your life. Some songs and where they transport me to. Gambling Rambling Man, to the Workshops of Second City graduation celebration played over and over on a juke box in a restaurant, School’s Out, last day of high school being played over the loudspeakers, Always and Forever, prom I went to as a freshman in college, she was a senior at Maine South, 300 Violin Orchestra, baseball games at GCS ball park where my younger son played college baseball, Joy to the World or as we called it, Jeremiah was a Bullfrog, riding my bike in the summer while in grammar school with a transistor radio strapped on to it, and Taking It to the Streets, song I listened to on a cassette recorder while jogging after graduating high school. I could go on but you get the point – certain songs open a memory time portal and they instantly send you to particular moment in your life evoking certain sights, sounds, emotions and feelings. Safe travels to wherever certain songs may take you!
I’d rather do it myself 12/3/22 - I was driving on Lawrence (posted limit 35mph) and I changed from the left to right lane (because the car ahead of me was going about 10 mph under the limit) and ahead of me a car was turning right into a side street. Everything was under control, I saw him (and I wasn’t on my phone, daydreaming or similarly distracted) and I was about to slow down when my car decided to do it for me. My car didn’t just slow down it jammed on the brakes. It was sudden, frightening and scary. Besides a little whiplash, it startled me to put it mildly. I know my car has this safety feature but it was way out of line and it overreacted. I immediately pulled over, composed myself and in a calm, restrained manner had a brief talk with my car – basically stating that I will drive the car, and it can worry about the fuel/air mix, accurately reporting my rate of speed, maintaining the temp I have set etc. but going forward if it wanted to make a suggestion, or get my attention, please flash a warning light/message and I would let it know if I needed its help. I made it clear this type of behavior would not be tolerated and I would start to use lower octane fuel if it persisted. I was thankful no one was behind me when my car started to exhibit controlling behavior because the sudden braking surely would have caused me to get rear ended and I know in court (under light cross examination) my car wouldn’t admit to any wrong doing or having an error in judgement. I hope the little talk we had got through to my car and it realizes I am serious about it being a safety feature showoff.
Happy Thanksgiving 2022 -11/26/22
It’s the time of year I reflect on what I am grateful for,
And every year it’s more.
It’s more because there are many things that I find,
That come to mind.
For my three kids and the joy they each bring,
Makes me want to sing.
For all the people that have crossed my life’s path,
Hard to do the math.
For all that I have experienced, learned and as a result now know,
Enabling me to grow.
For the childhood I experienced and had,
And for my mom and dad.
For being able to get out of bed each day,
Keeping old age at bay.
For being able to exercise and move pretty much as I please,
While being mindful of my knees.
For finding laughter, excitement and fun,
In what I’ve done.
For the sun coming out even though it’s millions of miles away,
Making it a better day.
For all those that have given me love, caring, thoughtfulness and dared,
To show me they cared.
Burbank 11/19/22 -I had lunch with some grammar school classmates and it was an opportunity to talk with some friends I hadn’t seen in 50 years. We went around the table talking about what we remembered about grammar school (Luther Burbank in Chicago). We all had different memories and some I couldn’t recall and some I could. It was interesting to see what each of us remembered but was also interesting to hear a little part of what had transpired in their lives. Two people were on their second marriage, one got married late in life. One person had been married over 40 years and two of us were divorced and single. One person had a six acre farm. We talked about our children, our careers, our parents, retirement and signing up for Medicare. One person mentioned she used to work with my sister which I didn’t know. It was a trip down memory lane, but was also compelling to learn about the varied paths each of us had taken to get to this moment in time. We all started out in the same neighborhood (within a few blocks of each other), we experienced grammar school together and some experienced high school together too. Each of our individual journeys took some similar and some different twists and turns but in the end we all ended up here at this point in life. It was funny how 50 years had gone by (in what seemed to be the blink of an eye) but the kids I played with and grew up with were sitting right in front of me. We were now a little older, a little wiser and a little more seasoned but deep down inside we were the same kids from the old neighborhood – that hadn’t changed at all.
Thanksmasear 11/12/22 – If you are not familiar with this, it’s because I just made it up. It is the time period when many things occur starting with Thanksgiving, including Christmas and ending on News Year Day. People cram in remaining medical visits because their deductible is finally satisfied. Work slows down to a crawl at many companies because many are attempting to take their last vacation weeks. Holiday parties involving large amounts of food and drink occur with friends, family and co-workers (testing your battle with the bathroom scale). The weather quickly gets colder and it’s more difficult than ever to look stylish with layers on. Holiday gift shopping goes into hyper-drive and many people ponder, “What should I get them?” People frequently get quasi-ill (weak cough inserted here) because they need to use their last sick days or forfeit them. Many people go ‘Chevy Chase’ overboard decorating their homes regardless of the consequences on their electric bill. Let’s not forget that Hanukkah is celebrated, along with Kwanzaa and Native American Heritage Day during this period too. Last but not least there is Black Friday and Cyber Monday! So much is packed into these 39 days it is no wonder many get stressed out and SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) depresses others. So strap yourself in, hang on and ride the Thanksmasear roller coaster because there is no way to avoid these 39 days unless you are a bear hibernating in a cave (and now you know the real reason bears hibernate).
Tests, exams……when do they end? 11/5/22 - Throughout our lives we are subjected to a series of tests and exams. When we are young there are math tests, English tests, history tests and the ever popular pop quizzes (ramping up to ACT/SAT tests). There is the highly anticipated driver’s license test and depending on your career path, there could be a GMAT, CDL test, Bar Exam, Civil Service exam and a variety of other job related tests including drug tests. If you have children they TEST YOU by their behavior, habits and what they say to you. Some jobs have annual training and then tests to make sure you’re paying attention (ex., Sexual Harassment and Code of Conduct (we really need to be told how to act?). As time passes there are annual blood tests & exams/physicals, and depending on your gender, mammograms, gynecological visits, and digital prostate exams (by the way ladies there is no analog prostate exam alternative). Depending on your family history, hobbies and risk taking levels, there are assorted gender neutral tests like colonoscopies, x-rays. CAT scans and MRI’s. In conclusion, I hope all your medical tests come back negative and the exams you take for a job or license you pass above the required minimum. The only test I hope you score low on is if you have to take a breathalyzer. Speaking about getting stopped while driving, the last time I got stopped they gave me a Rorschach test – don’t know what that was all about.
Emotional evolution 10/29/22 – As time passes our emotions evolve because we respond to things differently. For example, what might have set us off in a rage when we were 17, today solicits a milder response (in most instances). We realize through time and experience that some things simply aren’t worth the excitement and energy. Perhaps our response changes in intensity because we have more important, pressing issues to deal with (in essence, we triage what we need to get excited or worried about). Perhaps some people don’t have the physical energy to respond (emotionally you want to call in an air strike, but physically your body is like Scotty from Star Trek saying, “I’m giving her all she’s got”). Perhaps as our short term memory worsens and we can’t remember what just happened, we simply move on. In the end I hope it is because we are wiser and we understand that fierce, emotional responses to some situations don’t really solve anything and can actually do more harm than good to us physically. As time passes (hopefully) we become more astute and enlightened and as a result, our physical side and emotional side work together in an attempt to preserve life versus endanger it.
Things that sneak up on you 10/22/22 – 1) Cooler weather in the Fall, 2) siblings (when you were young) especially around Halloween, 3) bed time when you were a child, 4) your birthday, 5) your children’s ages, 6) that you soon will qualify for Medicare, 7) income tax filing deadlines (if you owe), 8) spiders in the bathroom (especially when you have nothing handy to swish them with), 9) appointments or meetings that you really don’t want to go to, 10) a car in your blind spot when you are about to change lanes, 11) weeds in the lawn, and 12) sundown on days you don’t ever want to end.
Spineprint 10/15/22 – I recall in a college acting class the professor talking about the ‘spine’ of an actor. He was referring to how the actor stood, carried himself and moved. The idea was to become that character and no longer be recognizable as yourself. This makes me think how I can recognize someone from a distance (without my glasses) because of their personal physical characteristics or spine. Everyone you know has distinct mannerisms, how they walk, hold their head, move their arms, their gait, how they stand and even their hand gestures to name a few. Their spine is as unique as their fingerprints. Their spine is at the core of their body and thus it heavily influences their movement and presence. As we age our spine evolves – we no longer have the exact same gait, movement or physical existence (if you doubt this, have someone film you walking or going up a flight of steps and play it back). This is simply a reminder that while our unique physical traits can alter slightly over time (our spineprint as I am calling it), our core existence, nature and spirit remain the same. We are still the same person inside; we simply just stand a little differently or move a little differently and that’s OK.
I must be getting old because I recall…… 10/8/22
- You could buy a full size candy bar, a newspaper or make a phone call with a dime.
- When we started driving, we all chipped in a dollar for the driver to buy gas (and there usually weren’t 30 of us in the car).
- At Christmas time we had an early version of the Internet – the Sears and Montgomery Ward’s catalogs.
- Before child labor laws, my sisters and I were tasked with manually changing channels on the television by the use of a knob.
- If the television had issues, my dad took the back off and brought the suspected burnt out tube to Walgreens to test it and buy a replacement.
- You could watch a movie at the Harlem Outdoor Theater for free (outside by the fence) but you had to read lips to understand what was going on.
- Doctors made house calls (he actually came to the house with a black bag) and mind you, I wasn’t famous or a celebrity.
- Drinking water was only available out of the kitchen sink faucet or the garden hose.
- After you shot a roll of film you stood in line at Skrudland’s, put it in an envelope and came back in a week or so to stand in line to get the developed pictures (and only then did you discover if the pictures turned out).
- In grammar school:
o No one was concerned about the brand of shoes you wore.
o Boys wore white shirts and ties to birthday parties and girls wore dresses.
o On your birthday you brought home baked cupcakes to school for everyone (somehow no one had peanut allergies, gluten issues or was lactose intolerant).
- When we went to a restaurant we simply ate the food - there was no need to take a picture of it for posterity.
Fall in the Midwest 10/1/22
The season of fall is now upon us,
Don’t fuss or cuss.
Many things start to fall like the temperature and the leaves,
Time for long sleeves.
It should be noted that even though many things are falling,
Inflation still has us bawling.
It’s really weird how quickly at night it gets dark,
Fall’s just making its mark.
The fall season is conveniently located between the summer heat and winter snow,
And the grass is less to mow.
The leaves are all changing their color and hue,
Quite a view.
Children are now happily studying and back in school,
Closed is the public pool.
It’s time to put away the t-shirts, shorts and flip flops,
Don’t make me call the fashion cops.
Soon you will need to get your long pants out and your coats,
And store your boats.
You might want to prep, tune and test the snow blower,
Or buy a flame thrower.
It’s also time to get your car ready for the winter cold,
Don’t act surprised you’ve been told.
Lastly, it’s time to see higher natural gas bills,
That really gives me chills!
Traveling through your creativity and passion 9/24/22 - I enjoy writing and started my weekly ‘Thought of the Week” 18 years ago and every week since have commented on something that made me think. I have come to realize that each little pondering is a short journey with words. I start with an idea or musing and explore it. I never know exactly where each of these short, writing expeditions will take me and usually I am surprised where I end up. I am certain others take similar journeys by writing music, painting, baking, woodworking, or quilting to name a few examples. Whatever your passion, I hope you are able to start with an idea, wander and meander until you have a finished piece of work. I also hope that you have surprised yourself and are pleased with the results and finally that it provokes some type of emotional response from others. Enjoy your personal creative journey whatever it is and no matter where it takes you.
Random vacation observations - 9/17/22
· People in South Carolina are extremely polite - if I had a dime for every “yes sir” and “yes ma’am” I heard I could buy a new car.
· I was reminded that there are a lot of people that do some tough jobs (for example, cleaning hotel rooms) and they need to be left tips for their service and hard work.
· Airlines can be on time and even early (no delays this trip).
· Airlines don’t always lose your bags (mine was one of the first out on the baggage carousel) - my Apple Air Tag wasn’t needed after all.
· The ocean is fun to play in but take your prescription Ray-Bans off first since mine got swept away after being hit in the head by a wave. I have no doubt that Baron Barracuda is upgrading his monocle.
· Walking on the beach in the morning and at night is therapeutic (and a fun, relaxing way to get steps).
· Reading a good book under an umbrella on the beach should encourage more people to read.
· I was reminded that sand gets everywhere.
· Don’t buy muffins in Folly Beach (very expensive and drier than the desert).
· Most restaurants had live, daily entertainment which made meals even more enjoyable.
· I enjoy engaging Uber drivers (good conversation and you learn something about them and the local culture).
· I was severely warned every time I picked up a menu about the dangers of under-cooked meat. Must have been a helluva law suit that preceded that warning.
· Taking time off of work and traveling is a good way to recharge your batteries.
What are you chasing ? 9/10/22 – When we are young we might be pursuing an education, a career, money, fame or love (hopefully chasing not stalking). What we chase evolves because later in life we might be chasing a second career, retirement goals, a mid-life crisis, a “71.4% of your life is gone crisis” or even our youth (trying to figure out where it went). What we don’t always realize is that while we are pursuing certain things, we are also being pursued. When we are younger we are chased by our fears, inexperience, immaturity, lack of common sense and/or impatience. When we get older we are chased by time, physical limitations, competing priorities/obligations or perhaps even our dreams. So while you are pursuing whatever you have set your sights on, it might pay to once in a while take a quick look over your shoulder to see if what is chasing you is catching up.
We are in this together 9/3/22 - The past two weeks have demonstrated to me how we are all connected. There are unspoken bonds simply by being human. In good times, we see the interdependence by being together, sharing of ourselves, laughter, conversation and camaraderie. In times of hardship and heartbreak, we see the connection when people show up to support each other by offering a kind word, a hug, or just being present with an ear to listen. In both situations we are there to show our caring, our love, our commitment and that we are there for one another. We are there to support each other because we are all caught in the cycle of life. Each of us take turns celebrating the highs in our lives (ex., weddings, grandchildren, promotions, retirement etc.) and unfortunately each of us take turns in the lows, involving worry, sorrow and mourning (ex., illness or the death of a friend or loved one). The lesson here is to remember we are all in this together. We can learn and grow from each other, we depend on each other and we need each other to successfully navigate through the human experience.
Never really prepared 8/27/22 – Three people passed away in the last two weeks connected to my high school class and one connected to a former co-worker. I was shocked and deeply saddened by the news each time and have had a difficult time processing all of this. My father and sister were both terminally ill with cancer and when they each died it knocked me to the ground. A friend of mine from high school years ago was murdered – the news left me in a fog and it took a long time to come to terms with his death. No matter if it is sudden or a drawn-out illness both hit us hard. Perhaps our brains are wired to keep us focused on life or the brain somehow attempts to insulate us from the reality of death. For example, years after my father’s death I would occasionally dream that he was still alive and it was so real that when I woke up, I momentarily questioned whether he was really gone. We are never surprised at the ending of a movie we have seen several times. In contrast, even though we know death is inevitable, when that ending arrives, we are always surprised and shocked by it. We can prepare ourselves for many things in life, but never can really prepare ourselves for death.
Exits 8/20/22 – The older I get the more I believe that “Life is a Highway” (by Rascal Flatts). As with all highways there are exits. Along the road called life we also have exits we can take. Some exits are like a rest stop. We get off the routine of life and go on vacation or do something we don’t do every day. These exits are a temporary diversion from the monotony of driving down the highway. Some exits are semi-permanent and they are labelled ‘retirement’ exits. We take these exits to begin a different lifestyle. We still get back on the highway of life but do so in a more relaxed manner, not as hurried OR we start a second career on the highway. Some exits we miss because we were not paying attention – these are missed opportunities and unfortunately while on highway of life you cannot double back and get off at that particular exit. Finally, there are some exits on the highway of life that we take that are the last exits we ever get off on – our lives are over when we take these. For those we know that have exited the highway of life we mourn you and wish you hadn’t left us. For those still on the highway, take some frequent rest stop exits and enjoy the journey down the highway while you can.
Responsibilities & freedom 8/13/22 – We were discussing things we did when we were in grammar school and we had a certain amount of responsibility and freedom as young children. Some examples, my sisters and I walked home for lunch from school, let ourselves in, made lunch, watched Bozo and went back (the house never burnt down, we didn’t suffer from malnutrition and DCFS had no reason to intervene). We walked to Riis Park (a half mile from our house) in the summer by ourselves to swim in a public pool (we went ‘green’ by walking). I had a neighborhood paper route. I delivered papers once a week, collected payment monthly and rode my bike to the office to turn the money in and be paid (this was not a get rich quick scheme). Some of my friends were crossing guards (wearing the bright orange belts) and they stopped traffic to allow students to cross at various intersections (can you imagine grade school children today being allowed to stop traffic?). I cut two neighbor’s lawns and shoveled snow for several others. The money was steady, there was no overhead (used a reel lawn mower and a shovel) no competition or contracts and yes it was unreported cash income. To be clear, we had adult supervision (we weren’t wild animals running in the street), it was simply a time when we were given a fair amount of responsibility, and we did well with it. We learned the value of money from our side hustles along with a small allowance. We were enterprising, resourceful, and a little independent (we were developing skills we could use for a lifetime). Most importantly, we managed to have fun, play and still be kids.
Mom turns 90 today - 8/6/22
It’s hard to believe that my mom turns 90 on this day,
May she stay healthy we pray.
Over the years she has done so much for me,
She has been the key
She has touched the lives of many,
She has given plenty.
She was involved in PTA, the neighborhood, Boy Scouts and worked full time too,
She watched over us as we grew.
She tried to instill values in us and taught us right from wrong,
She was very strong.
She has always been loving, caring and kind,
Definitely one of a kind.
She also always seemed to have on a smile,
And all the while,
She showed us how to do a lot with less,
And always say please and yes.
Lastly, we honor her today with lots of love and well wishes,
And of course a few kisses.
Happy Birthday Mom!