Ted Schneider "Improv Leadership" The Life wrlr 98.3 FM

10 reasons why life needs to come with a general warning 1/25/25

• I was recycling a box from some sparkling water last week and received a giant paper cut on the side of my palm (recycling can be dangerous).
• When Trac II razors first came out, they said it was impossible to cut yourself with them (I ran my finger across sideways and got two nice clean cuts in parallel -thank goodness I didn’t use my wrist).
• Instead of buying a new electrical cord I taped it together – one day while weed whacking it caught fire in my hand resulting in a large third-degree burn.
• I thought tweezing the hair in and around my ears was tedious and time consuming so I thought a razor would be more efficient – ears really bleed a lot when you cut them.
• I caught a pickleball off my left thumb knuckle a few days ago and it took a nice chunk of skin off the knuckle (why I always have band-aids with me).
• I got an electric razor as a gift many years ago and the harder I pressed down on my neck it had no effect; I just couldn’t get a close shave. After showering and getting dressed I noticed my neck looked like either I hung myself and miraculously lived or Godzilla gave me a hickey (never used it again).
• My old dentist gave me a metal pick to scrap off tartar as I deemed appropriate. First time I used it I was a little aggressive and it slipped and went right through my lower lip. Lips when punctured really bleed a lot.
• As I attempted to take the top off a plastic meat container a little while ago, I smashed my hand into the cabinet (lesson learned open them in large, open areas).
• Many years ago, I decided to turn on the whole house humidifier right before I went to work. I opened the valve on the water line, but no water was getting to the humidifier. I traced it back to where it tapped into the main water line and took it off. I was staring at a hole trying to figure out why no water was coming out, so I took a nail and jabbed the hole – water sprayed everywhere including on me until I ran to the main house water shut off (made a mess but did add humidity to the house).
• Putting on underwear should come with dance lessons – I don’t typically fall but the hopping and flopping around as I attempt to put a leg through resembles some weird dance moves.

Ten things I like and dislike about being a human being 1/18/25:
LIKE:
I can live not only in the present but can recall the past and ponder the future.
I have the capacity to love, express my emotions and form relationships with others.
My eyes can see all the world around me.
I can think, be creative, and solve problems.
Unlike furniture or other objects if I sit for a little while I don’t get dusty.
I can laugh and make fellow human beings laugh.
Each day starts like a clean chalk board, and I can choose what to write on it.
I can watch the sunrise and feel the warmth on my body from a star almost 93 million miles away. 
I have the freedom to make a variety of choices, almost endless decisions, and a few mistakes too.
At a certain age I gained some wisdom, found out who I was and liked who I became.
DISLIKE:
Our bodies are susceptible to colds, illness, and disease.
Time ages your parts and not all of them can be swapped out for new ones.
You must make time to eat, use the bathroom and sleep (which cuts into my pickleball playing time).
I must shave every few days or I look homeless.
My eyes sometimes see things I don’t want to acknowledge.
I am not perfect (close but alas not perfect).
Life comes with no guarantees, no extended warranties and unfortunately is finite.
Life can sometimes be a merry-go-round (you go round and round having fun but really don’t go anywhere) and can also be a rollercoaster (there are ups and downs).
When you are young you are ignored and not listened to and when you are old the same occurs – there is a small window when people notice you and pay attention to you.
It seemed like it took a long time to gain some wisdom, find out who I was and like who I became.

 Resolutions versus intentions 1/11/25 -  Many people create New Year’s resolutions which is not a bad practice, but they can be difficult to maintain. What might be more useful is to set your intentions. You intend to be more positive, be more generous, listen more, embrace change, get out of your comfort zone, practice mindfulness etc. At the same time what might be useful is to decide what you want the new year to be known for. Whatever you decide, make your plans attainable and have people close to you keep you honest about your progress. If you share your plans, resolutions, dreams, etc. with others you are more likely to focus on them and accomplish them. Again, if you cannot come up with some specific resolutions then go with living intentionally and you will achieve the changes you are looking for and others will notice the changes in you too. 

Happy New Year 2025! 1/1/25
In case you missed it 2024 is done, over and long gone,
Some might just yawn.
I guess it all depends on how your particular 2024 turned out,
But it’s over without a doubt.
But back to the New Year I don’t get the lyrics that state old acquaintances should be forgot,
Was he smoking pot?
The new year is when we make new plans, create new goals, and make resolutions starting the first day,
But most quickly stray.
Perhaps it would be best to make little changes each day and simply be better than the day before,
That shouldn’t be a chore.
Back to forgetting acquaintances as the song suggests that probably will happen any way the older you get,
But no need to fret.
What I would focus on is making plans to enjoy the new year, make it memorable and have some fun,
Since when everything is said and done,
You ultimately control the trajectory of your life and the path you should take,
So, for goodness’ sake,
Plan on making 2025 the best year possible, stay healthy, stay safe, and make it the best year ever,
And never say never!

Merry Christmas! 12/25/24

Well, it is December, and the year is almost over which means it is Christmas time,

Due to Prime I’m down to my last dime.

But as we have all heard over the years it is not about how much you spend,

But that’s the trend.

It should be about the birth of Christ that we put our attention toward,

Some call him the Lord.

We also should focus this time of year on doing things for others,

Like they were brothers.

And it is unfortunate that for some this is the only time of year that thought crosses their mind,

Like it costs too much to be kind.

So, my wish this year is not that I receive a lot of presents but that I see in the world some peace,

And that hostilities cease.

But knowing that is a global effort and probably hard to expect that all these things will be over,

Like finding a four-leaf clover.

So instead, I am going to focus on what I can do positively in my daily interactions with my fellow man,

That’s the plan.

I also hope to keep some of the Christmas spirit alive throughout next year,

And do it with no fear and a little cheer! 

Escape from your past 12/21/24 – Some people are not able to change, evolve and move on from things that occurred in their past. Some are locked into ways of thinking or believe that what happened earlier defines their future. For example, some blame parents for the way they were raised or blame others that may have negatively impacted them. At some point you need to realize that although you can’t escape your past, you have the ability to forgive and/or stop blaming someone or something that occurred which should allow you to shape a new, brighter and more productive future. You can take control of your situation and reshape the future you want. You can say to yourself, “I am going to live a different life” breaking the chains that seem to be wrapped around you. You are not defined by your past or obligated to live life as a sentence from your past. You can take responsibility for your situation and make the change you want to see; be the person you want to be and finally break free from your past.  

Acupuncture 12/14/24 - One major hypothesis is that acupuncture works through neurohormonal pathways. The needles go through specific points in the body and stimulate the nerves. The nerve then sends signals to the brain, and the brain releases neural hormones such as beta-endorphins. I mention acupuncture because I have recently gone twice and have experienced some positive physical benefits treating my lower back pain. When I found out that one theory is acupuncture prompts the nerves to send signals to the brain all I could think was “Cmon, get with the program nerves” – I mean I have to have a licensed practitioner insert 18-20 needles in my lower back along with a few behind each knee to get the nerves to do their job? Perhaps the nerves are on vacation? Maybe they unionized and only work on certain days between certain hours? The nerves could simply be lazy and are no longer motivated to do their jobs (they are quietly quitting). Whatever it is we are going to sit down and have a little talk since this is unacceptable behavior. I know now where the phrase, “of all the nerve” comes from – they really should be ashamed of themselves. 

You Get What You Give 12/7/24 -  In 1998, the song ‘You Get What You Give’ by the New Radicals came out and encouraged people to reject conformity and embrace their individuality. Do you embrace what makes you different? If not, why not - it is what makes you, you! Some of the lyrics, “We only get what you give” means what you put out in the world boomerangs back to you. The song goes on to state, “we got the dreamers disease” – Are you a dreamer? – if not, why not regardless of your age or situation. It also states, “You’ve got the music in you” – YES YOU DO – you have a song that is meant to be sung like only you can sing. Lastly, one part of the lyrics is “one dance left.” If you put this all together the message to me is - Don’t give up, dream like you did when you were a young child, let the song in your heart be heard by others, embrace what makes you unique and use it to help others, be intentional with regards to your words and actions and hopefully you will always have at least one dance left in you, no matter how old you are and no matter what the circumstances. 

Happy Thanksgiving 2024! 11/30/24

It’s the time of year when many people get four days off work,
Seen as an annual perk.

But instead of just some days off why not use this time to reflect and express gratitude for all you are thankful for,
It shouldn’t be a chore.

Think back on all the positive, happy, and fun things and people that has crossed your path,
Simply do the math.

You will hopefully find that there is much more to be grateful for than you imagined, and you will find,
That perhaps you’ve been blind

Since there have been many good things in your life that you perhaps took for granted,
Causing your view to be a little slanted.

So, stop and think of what you have, what you have accomplished and those that came into your life and helped you along the way,
Making it a brand-new day!

 Eyebrows  11/23/24 – There is more pressure on women versus men in our society to look youthful and always look their best. For example, 90% of women report using a filter or editing their selfies. Let’s take something as simple as eyebrows. I admit I trim mine regularly because I don’t want to look like Groucho Marx, Eugene Levy or Gene Shalit. What are the choices for women if they want to enhance their eyebrows? There is plucking, threading, waxing, tinting, microblading (which sounds like a lot of fun), brow lamination, henna brows, use of eyebrow pencils, powders, gels, brow serums, and even temporary eyebrow adhesives or stickers. Realizing what some women go through for just their eyebrows; I will focus more on their eyebrows going forward versus looking at other parts of their anatomy. Keep in mind that eyebrows are not only useful in directing moisture away from the eyes, blocking some light and filtering debris, but eyebrows are an important part of facial expression and communication. Perhaps this is why women are better at expressing themselves and their emotions – their enhanced eyebrows make them more attractive, more confident, more expressive and better understood! 

Confession 11/16/24 – I am in the slow, time-consuming process of writing a book about life after divorce with a primary focus on dating. The book is like going to confession because I am being honest with myself as I write. I am acknowledging where I went wrong or where I could have done better. I am analyzing what occurred and why with better clarity than I could at the time, and it is revealing (in some instances for the first time) why I acted the way I did or why others behaved the way they did. It is about reflecting on the different dynamics of being in a relationship. I admittedly chose to ignore some things, and my judgement was at times clouded. Don’t get me wrong, the last ten years have been fun, exciting but at times like an out-of-control rollercoaster. But through it all, I have learned a great deal about myself and others - it has truly been an eye-opening education or perhaps could even be called an epiphany. This journey has also illustrated that life is the sum of our choices resulting in many different paths and many different stories. 

When did this start and who said it was OK? 11/9/24

- Greeting cards cost more than the gift they are given with.

- The hands-free cell phone ban while driving was repealed.

- Many things require a monthly subscription to keep it working.

- Based on people’s sensitivity you are bound to offend someone no matter what you say.

- Many are concerned about their privacy rights, but they give away tons of personal information on their social media posts.

- People are convinced buying an EV is saving the planet but only 21% of the electricity in the US is generated from renewable energy sources.

- There used to be only three controversial topics to avoid discussing, politics, abortion, and gun control – today that list has greatly expanded.

- Taking more than your half of the sidewalk while walking or more than your half driving down a two-way street.

- Buying anything online often includes a convenience charge - convenient for who - my purchase online makes it easier for the business.

- Everyone wants you take a survey (I got gas yesterday and received a survey about the experience) I replied, “I pumped my own gas – I did a great job!”

- People mistakenly believe you want to hear their conversation, music or whatever they are listening to on their phones.

- Everyone wants a tip - here’s a tip, “If you did nothing out of the ordinary, please do not expect a tip especially if I picked it up.”