Ted Schneider "Improv Leadership" The Life wrlr 98.3 FM

  Different 8/16/25 – When I was younger, the goal was to blend in and not stand out. In college I realized it was OK to be different. I didn’t drink alcohol, coffee, smoke, or do drugs and this set me apart from the crowd. Eventually, I became comfortable NOT doing what the crowd did, and many times did the opposite just to be different. I also set myself apart from others due to my sense of humor, my energy and overall, a zany outlook on life. My motto, embrace your individuality and uniqueness! For example, when I go to an appointment (doctor, car maintenance etc.) I always stand, partly because I herniated a disk years ago but also because typically everyone else is sitting – got to be different (plus it makes some people nervous to see me standing).  Another example, I recently purchased a new pickleball paddle that is smaller and shaped much different from a normal paddle. Someone said, “you can’t play with that, get your real paddle” – I told them it WAS my real paddle. ‘Mission accomplished’ since regardless of how I played I was different – not only my attitude, my behavior but even my paddle! 

 Limits 8/9/25  – Apparently, I hit my limit with my right bicep due to daily chin-ups, pull-ups, pushups and pickleball. My children have been pretty vocal about me slowing down and taking it easy. News flash - I do not enjoy being told I cannot do something – I typically do the opposite (I grew up during the turbulent 60’s). Perhaps it is part of the aging process (here is where denial is heavily applied) but slowing down is not on my to-do list. So, a shot of cortisone and now some PT to strengthen the rotator cuff muscles and shoulder muscles (I am kind of disappointed the bicep didn’t ask for some help from his muscle neighbors – once again I must step in). To clarify, there are limits in my life, my patience has limits, my attention span has limits, and unfortunately there are limits on the number of hours that exist in each day. I guess this means I have to LIMIT some of my behavior and habits in order to LIMIT my exposure to injury especially since there is a LIMIT on the time I get to spend on this planet (too many limits)! 

Boomers 8/2/25 – Baby Boomers were born between 1946 and 1964. I think better names would be the Mighty Gen., the Impressive Gen., or even the Badass Gen. Some of the reasons ‘My Generation’ (cue up the song by The Who) stands out. We didn’t need parents driving us everywhere, we walked or took our bikes (and if we wanted them to sound cool a baseball card on the back wheel did the trick). We had imagination, grit and were tough since there was nothing that mercurochrome couldn’t fix (in 1998 the FDA said, “it was not generally recognized as safe and effective”). We played outside all day – there were no digital devices to distract us or suck up our attention (the only thing we sucked up was sunshine without sunscreen). There were no ‘timeouts’ - the strap across our behinds was all that was needed for a periodic attitude adjustment. There was no Google – if you wanted to know something you went to your rich relative’s house because they had the Encyclopedia Brittanica set OR went to the library and opened tiny drawers in a large dresser type piece of furniture to look through rows of index cards to find a book utilizing the Dewey Decimal System. We had respect for others, including authority and people’s property. After the first moon landing in 1969, we all wanted to be like astronauts by drinking Tang and eating Space Food Sticks. We were curious, adventurous, and tenacious and we believed the nightly news (versus the opinion news today). We are the largest generation, and we have contributed the most to Social Security in terms of total dollars paid into the system (you are welcome). Boomers are considered the most active generation for their age (so all these years later we are still going strong so don’t mess with us). Lastly, we did drills in school where we sat and faced our lockers in case there was a nuclear attack (that’s all we had to do to survive) perhaps we should be called the Invincible Generation!

Quiet 7/26/25 – Last weekend we were in Ontario, Wisconsin. We enjoyed hiking, tubing down a river and we marveled at the stars at night. We were entertained daily by wild turkeys, deer, and hummingbirds in the front yard. But the thing I was most amazed at – it was quiet. I mean dead quiet – no loud cars, no kids screaming, no roaring lawnmowers and no planes flying overhead (I live on one of the paths to O’Hare). I could literally hear a leaf fall off a tree. It reminded me of our family trips to Schneider’s Resort in Mountain Home, Arkansas (my grandparent’s property where they rented cabins). It also reminded me of Camp Owasippe in Twin Lake, Michigan where we had annual Boy Scout camping trips. It’s ironic that you go on vacation and sometimes what is not there stands out more than what is there.  

 Stop sign 7/19/25  – In the village I live in they need to change the verbiage, the color or perhaps even the shape of what is known (to a select few) as a STOP sign. I say this because daily I witness people blasting through them or momentarily hesitating at best – they are clearly not getting the memo. Perhaps English isn’t their first language or maybe they think it is only a suggestion (I checked it isn’t in small print below the word STOP), or maybe they are in a hurry and don’t have time to stop (and if you are busy and important I understand this is an inconvenience). When it comes to changing the verbiage maybe use HALT, or YOUR CAR SHOULD NOT BE MOVING WHEN YOU GET TO THIS SIGN (probably too many words). One of my favorite ideas, STOP or spikes come up and blow your tires (OK this is probably a little extreme, but I guarantee when you have to replace all your tires you stop next time). My last idea would be to hire stunt men and place them near intersections to walk in front of cars and get hit – that might wake up people and be a cash cow (the stunt men could extort cash from the people going through the signs that hit them). I am not sure any of my ideas would be practical so for now I am very cautious at every four-way stop – because the only T-bone I want to experience is done on the grill. 

They want you to do their work 7/12/25 – Ages ago, the full-service gas station went away, and we learned how to pump our own gas. Calling customer service (at times) leads you on an endless journey of press this or press that or go to our FAQs at our website (we really don’t have anyone here you can talk to). Self-checkouts soon became popular (reducing staffing and again making you do the work). The most recent example – restaurants want you to use a device at your table to pay (no need for your server to bring you a check etc.). The most recent example was on the 4th of July – I played with the device (and I work in IT) and couldn’t figure it out. The server came by, and she was struggling too (OK – pay with the machine but you can’t get it to work either?). She didn’t say I will go get a paper bill, she continued to struggle and finally fixed it. The other couple we were with used a credit card – I was paying in cash. We got up to walk out and I handed the server my cash and never played with the machine. I am all for helping out, but I think stores and restaurants have gone too far when it comes to consumers doing their work for them. It makes the experience less personal, gives you the feeling you are being ignored and quite frankly most of these systems simply aren’t user friendly  – but you want my business? Think again and put a little more human in it and give the consumer less work to do since they really are there to enjoy the experience not do your work. 

In the good news, bad news department 7/5/25
Good news - I have been using anti-wrinkle cream at night, and my skin is now youthful and smooth. Bad news – I can’t unlock my phone or certain apps because my face looks so dramatically different.
Good news – Playing pickleball is a heart healthy exercise. Bad news – My knees, back and right shoulder disagree about it being a healthy exercise.
Good news – I regularly use band-aids, since they stop the bleeding and keep cuts from getting infected. Bad news – I wash my hands often and the bandage part soaks up water and then it’s like walking around with a full mini diaper on your finger.
Good news – I washed and detailed my car the other day and it looked brand new. Bad news – The birds apparently thought it looked too nice and decided to use it as bombing practice.
Good news – I fertilized the lawn with weed and feed, and it looks fantastic! Bad news – I forgot the feed part directly contributes to having to mow it more often.Good news – Pharmaceutical companies advertise that their drugs will cure many diseases. Bad news – They also tell you that the possible side effects include some very scary things.
Good news – When I shave, I don’t look any older than I am. Bad news – I have to shave almost every day to keep looking like that.
Good news - Preparing a healthy, nutritious meal is easy to do if you have the time. Bad news – I don’t have the time.
Good news – Cash is as close as the ATM and it literally spits money out at you. Bad news – It comes out of your account (didn’t realize that at first).
Good news - The bathroom mirror can sometimes make you look pretty good. Bad news – When you go to take a selfie it never looks the same.

Galewood Community Church 6/28/25 – I was driving to my cousin’s body shop last week down the usual path using Oak Park Ave. At Diversity it was under construction, so I detoured to Narragansett and at one point was stopped at a red light. I looked up and saw the cross street was Bloomingdale and my mind instantly said LOOK RIGHT – there on the corner was Galewood Community Church. Now most people would look at the unassuming white church and not feel anything but, in my case, it is where we held our Boy Scout meetings for many years, and my mind instantly dug up a flood of memories. Some of the memories, 1) we did a winter display there every year and built a large monkey bridge, a signal tower and cook stand (and on Sundays cooked breakfast for people as they left church), 2) we camped on the front lawn overnight in tents as well during those winter displays, 3) I drove our 68 Mustang to a meeting one time (I had my permit) and got out to switch with my mom so she could drive home. We both exited the car and locked the doors as the car was running – thank goodness in those days a coat hanger got the door unlocked, 4) Ed Hanrahan lived near the church and there was a 24 hour police presence surrounding his home (he was the Cook County State’s Attorney who was involved in the 1969 Black Panther raid that killed two of their leaders), 5) Sam Giancana (organized crime boss) lived nearby too – in 1975 he was assassinated in his home before he could testify before the U.S. Senate Intelligence Committee, 6) In the basement of the church we held our weekly meetings, along with the annual Blue and Gold spaghetti dinner, Pine Wood Derby races, and we dried out our tents and equipment after weekend camping trips there, 7) At one of those blue and gold dinners there was a raffle - I mentioned I was going to win the Replogle Globe and I did and still have it over 50+ years and 8) lastly I remember the most famous member of Boy Scout Troop 121 – Hugh Hefner (several years before me). Sometimes taking an unexpected detour leads you straight to memory lane.  

Why I do what I do 6/21/25 - This past week at work we had to get on several incident triage calls, for example, Thursday night from 9:15pm to 12:30am, Saturday morning from 12:30am to 4:15am and again on Father’s Day from 6pm to 6:45pm. The way people worked together on these calls made me proud to be a part of the team. First the people I work with are a dedicated bunch – they join these triage bridges and work until we restore service. I get the pleasure of leading these triage bridges at all hours of the day and I find it rewarding because the people I work with care as much as I do. I also enjoy these calls because I get to inject a little improv and humor to keep things going. Recently I have been asked “when are you going to retire?” and based on the job I do, the people I work with and how the company treats us it is a tough question because I will have to find something as rewarding, fulfilling, fast paced and challenging to replace what I do. In addition, when you get feedback from your co-workers and company leadership thanking you for the work you do it shows you are appreciated. Lastly, related to aging etc. people ask if I play Wordle or Connections etc. to keep my mind sharp and I tell them I do not since for now by facilitating these calls, asking questions, troubleshooting, taking notes, calling people, and suggesting potential solutions I keep my brain pretty sharp – a much better game for me (at least for now) than Sudoku!

Life is like poker 6/14/25 – Life is like a poker game in many ways,1) We are dealt a hand and if it is 5 card stud (or sometimes in life) we have to make the best with what we have, 2) You can bluff your way through life (or card game) but sooner or later someone will ‘call you’ on it, 3) We discard relationships and other things in our lives and we never truly know if it was a wise decision until the next card/person/thing comes along, 4) Life at it’s core is a gamble – we are never really certain how things will turn out, 5) Just as in life, sometimes we win and sometimes we lose but hopefully you have fun playing the game, 6) Some people rarely show their emotions (poker face) while others wear their emotions on their sleeve 7) Some people go through life and routinely ‘bet it all’ while others are more cautious and only put a little at stake or at risk, 8) Sometimes in life we have to know when to give up on someone/something or we realize something is no longer worth pursuing (and just like in poker we ‘fold’), 9) Sometimes in card games there are wild cards and in life some people are considered ‘wild cards’ and 10) Sometimes in life or in a card game we can be down to our last few poker chips and we go for it and win – reminding you that we are never out of it until the last card is dealt. 

Only 18% of Americans? 6/7/25 - Twice in less than a week there was only one person on staff that knew how to drive my car and at the time they weren’t there. First at a wedding in Chicago while valeting my car and then at the Niles Costco while having my tires rotated. I Googled it - approximately only 18% of Americans know how to drive a manual transmission – really? It also happened to me a few years ago when I stayed in Indianapolis – I pulled up to the hotel and asked the valet if he could drive a stick and his reply was, “sort of.” I asked “where should I park it?” – turns out right in front. Growing up we had a 1952 Willys Jeep that had a three-speed manual transmission that my mom drove – tell me how my mom could drive a manual, but you can’t (sorry we need to take your man card away if you can’t)? People don’t realize what they are missing – like going through the gears to leverage the most out of the available horsepower or increasing the size of your left leg when sitting in traffic. But what is the most positive thing about driving a stick (in addition to getting special parking spots at hotels and events) – no one is going to carjack you or steal it – they will get in and not know what to do – best anti-theft device! 

 Look at your hand 5/31/25 – Palmistry (the practice of interpreting one’s character or predicting their future by examining the lines of their hand). This looks at four major lines, your heart line (emotional self), your head line (thought process and mental state), your life line (vitality and energy) and your fate line (your destiny). What does this mean? 1) No need to go to the doctor – just look at your hands to see how you are doing, 2) Reduce the number of times you shake hands – this could wear the lines off and then your future is in real trouble, 3) Instead of lip augmentation, Botox or other cosmetic surgery on your face or other body parts – plump up your palms OR get line enhancement OR get a hand enlargement to make your lines healthy looking, bigger, longer and more youthful looking, 4) Take regular photos of your palms to compare to previous photos to detect any changes that may signal problems, 5) Don’t show people your palms – it is like revealing your PHI (Personal Health Information) and lastly 6) Take care of your palms with lotion (regularly) to keep them well moisturized, and to keep your lines from cracking! 

Characters 5/24/25  – Is it just me or does everyone do this? Based on what I am wearing and where I am it puts me into a certain character mode. For example, when I am in a suit and have my Army officer’s overcoat on it makes me feel like a hit man (but if I have my military black beret on with the overcoat, I am Special Forces). I just got new sunglasses and when I wear them, I feel like the villain in a movie. When I wear my black suit with the thin black tie (at weddings in particular) and I am on the dance floor, I get a little Blues Brotherish in my step. When I wear my Chicago police leather jacket (yep you guessed it) I feel like an off-duty police officer, and I stare at people in stores to keep them from shoplifting. When I approach an expressway entrance ramp, I put my car into sport mode, and I am instantly a race car driver (the title of the movie I am in is Honda versus the other car – unless it is a Tesla – I don’t race those). Lastly, in the Fall and Winter when doing outside work I usually wear fatigue pants with my M-65 field jacket (and yes, I am retired military doing yard work). My motto - why waste a vivid imagination and the world of make believe sometimes is much more interesting than reality. I think I simply like to dress up more than just once a year on Halloween. I basically sense a certain look and naturally come up with a character (and act accordingly)!