Ted Schneider on "Improv Leadership" on WRLR 98.3 LP FM

 Healing 9/2/23 - The human body has tremendous self-healing capacity after injuries or pathogen invasions. Bones can take approx. 6-8 weeks to heal, ligaments 10-12 weeks, cartilage about 12 weeks and nerves approx. 3-4 months. Regarding the healing process for emotional issues there is no average or standard healing period. Emotional healing requires time, support from others, alone time to reflect and perhaps some distraction or focusing on other things in your life. In many cases just when you start to feel like you are dealing with it, the anniversary of the event or other reminders trigger an assault on your emotional well-being. In the end, there is no normal healing period, so do it at your pace, with the time you need and in the way that feels right for you. Lastly, the physical healing process is quite visible but emotional healing is hidden because the scars are on your heart.  

Complicated  8/26/23– We have made advances with technology from smartphones, an app for this, an app for that, to the use of AI and automation (good news and not so good news). The other day using a parking meter was a great example of making things too complicated. Years ago you dropped a quarter in and twisted the knob (two steps, simple and easy). Today if you don’t have the app downloaded it is a series of inputs, including your license plate, swiping a credit card, min/hour input etc. - much more than just two steps (and it can take multiple attempts because in my case it didn’t like the one credit card). Calling a customer service 800 number can be a series of press 1, press 3, press 5 OR a series of questions you need to answer while talking to an AI operator (birth date, last 4 of your social, mother’s maiden name, favorite ice cream flavor, personal pin number, or the name of your invisible, imaginary friend growing up). By the time you are lucky enough to get an actual human you forget why you were calling. In addition, if English isn’t their first language (but they insist their name is Bob or Sally) now you have to go through a new set of questions, repeating yourself and asking them to repeat themselves. We have some incredible conveniences – online license plate renewal versus going to the DMV, buying anything imaginable and having it show up at your door step 2 days later, reserving movie theatre seats on your phone or ordering a ride via Uber or Lyft. Although, in some instances, we have made life more complicated than it needs to be. We have also lost some of the human element – probably because they know you can’t yell, scream and swear at an AI operator. My wish, before any business/company implements a new process or system that it is tested with a range of people to see how they think it works. If you find yourself saying, “this really shouldn’t be this complicated” you haven’t failed, the business or company you are dealing with has failed you. 

  Life is a casino 8/19/23 – Life can be similar to playing at a casino. From the moment we are born, we start to lose so the odds are clearly not in our favor. We are born with extra fluids that we lose soon afterwards. We lose our baby teeth and at some point our innocence. As the years go on we even lose the number and mass of nerve cells that can result in the slowing of memory and the thought process. On the plus side, we also gain (win) many things as we age, such as, wisdom, knowledge, wealth (hopefully), weight (unfortunately) experience and education. The odds are in our favor concerning gaining or at least breaking even with many things like our spirit, our dignity, our sense of humor, our optimism, our personality, our dreams, our values, laughter and our moral compass. Life is very much like a casino, you are gambling almost every day, playing the hand you’re dealt, trying to figure out if you should keep going with a relationship, a job or an investment or should you fold. Some days you simply spin the roulette wheel and see where life lands. You also realize the house is designed to always win (no one gets out alive) but that shouldn’t stop you from having fun and enjoying yourself. If you live your life to the fullest, you will reward yourself with a life that mattered and that had purpose resulting in you hitting the jackpot! 

Some habits are hard to break 8/12/23

If I see a penny I pick it up regardless if it’s heads or tails (cash is cash)

I seldom take the product in the front of the shelf – I take the one further back.

I treat getting gas like an Indy pit stop – hence an EV will not work for me

Dude Wipes are worth the investment (but don’t get the mint flavored ones – I’m not sure many people will notice the difference)

I avoid (if at all possible) going to the grocery store on Saturday

Exercise is a seven-day a week non-negotiable commitment

If I can walk there I will, unless it involves bags of top soil, bags of ice (in July/August) or construction materials.

I don’t eat red Sweet Tarts, but red M&M’s, red Dots and Hot Tamales are all OK

I check my ears and nose for wild hairs at least three times a week (they started turning gray/white and kind of hide in plain sight)

I never carry a grudge unless it involves over $10,000.00 (because even the government requires filing an IRS/FinCEN Form 8300 for reporting cash payments of over $10,000.00).

I hold the door open for anyone that is within at least 25 feet of the door (and instruct them to “take your time and please no tipping the doorman”)

Driving part 7 - 8/5/23
I drive a Honda Civic and most older people don’t like my car,
It's like getting out of a jar.
Speaking of jarring, I know my passengers get thrown about,
Since without a doubt
It's clear to see them flop back and forth when I manually shift,
It's really a gift.
I also must admit I am not a big fan regarding the cameras at a red light,
They cause me fright because they financially bite.
I can't help it because I know the camera companies are conspiring against me,
Wish they'd let me be.
All I want to do is get through driving without this added stress,
It's a mess.
One thing that greatly baffles me is when people, for no apparent reason, excessively honk their horn,
It’s the object of my scorn.
Lastly, I must admit one driving fault I have - I enjoy driving on the highway going very fast,
Was that my exit I just passed?

   Observations part 17 - 7/29/23 – Someone once told me to observe life as if you’re a visitor from another planet. Some observations; some people are not able to grasp simple concepts, like the importance of turn signal use or actually making a stop at a stop sign. Many people end up sleep walking all the way to the grocery store - how else do you explain them shopping in their pajamas? Some identify as morning people while some identify as night owls but I have yet to see anyone identify as a noon person. Some people are hopeless romantics while others are simply hopeless. Maturity has no real correlation to your physical age. A smile shines brightly and can warm others even on a rainy or cloudy day. Some people strongly believe in magic since they think if they rant and rave on social media, they will change the world. Good manners do not universally exist; perhaps it’s time for a charm school renaissance. Many believe they will always have more time, until their hourglass suddenly turns into an egg timer. Some people think that life is a dress rehearsal and lose sight of the fact that every day is an actual live performance. I’m going back to my planet but I’ll continue to observe. 

Wait your turn 7/22/23 – I spent 5.5 hours in the ER this past Saturday. My article was initially going to be a sarcastic recap of how long it takes to be seen and what you need to bring to be prepared (like a calendar to keep track of the days and some yellow police tape in case you die waiting) but instead I thought I’d focus on what is really going on there. In life, many times people do not wait their turn because they are rude or have money or just don’t play by the rules. At the ER they take you based on urgency and you are forced to take your turn on their terms. They also have many rules which you can’t get around (like you have to sit in the wheelchair for us to bring you to the imaging area – this for a man who walked 65 miles last week – I insisted I could easily walk there, they insisted I had to take the ride, they won). Some ER lessons learned, there are many people in far worse situations than me, the diversity there rivals only the DMV, much is going on beyond the waiting room, it is an emotional setting (ex., one little boy was crying based on whatever happened to his mom), the staff are under incredible pressure and working conditions (and you couldn’t pay me enough to do their jobs) and regardless they are somehow still caring, compassionate and concerned about your well-being. The sign in the waiting area says it all, “Patients will be seen according to need. You may be asked to wait, We appreciate your understanding.” Lastly, in case you’re wondering I am OK health-wise, all is good and more importantly, I clearly understand why I had to wait my turn and I am pleased I had to wait my turn.

Fruits & vegetables 7/15/23 – Humans are similar to fruits and vegetables, some spoil rather quickly (short lives) while others stay fresh longer (live longer). Cauliflower, Brussel sprouts and cabbage last a long time – these particular vegetables I am not very fond of. Does this mean that unappealing people live longer? Apples last a long time (and an apple a day keeps the doctor away) so that’s a good thing, but remember over time they shrivel up and wrinkle. Celery lasts a long time and when it gets old it gets flexible and rubbery (so the older you get if you do yoga you might be able to bend like old celery). Garlic and onions last a long time giving credence to the theory that if you offend others or make them cry you will live a long time? Strawberries on the other hand have a short life and they turn colors and get gooey which I would liken to certain skin disorders, dark colored moles and age spots. Green beans have a short life (lesson learned, if you are too skinny you don’t stand a chance in the longevity game). Lastly, bananas turn brown quickly and seem to bruise easily but actually get sweeter. As people get older their skin becomes thinner and it loses some of the protective fatty layer which means they bruise more easily (and most times older folks are nicer and sweeter because they have mellowed with age). What fruit or vegetable are you most like? What fruit or vegetable do you wish you were more like? 

Birds 7/8/23 - Sitting in my girlfriend’s backyard we have listened to a variety of birds. We also identified them using the ‘Merlin’ app which identifies them by their songs - the bird song version of Shazam. Watching these birds made me think, “What can we learn from them?” Many things such as, you can build affordable housing almost anywhere. If you spread your wings you can fly. Using the bathroom in public is OK – even if it lands on cars. There is no early morning noise curfew – you can get up early and sing without fear of getting a citation. Flying into sliding glass doors and windows can be dangerous (that’s why we put stickers on them). There is a free food and bathing network set up throughout the neighborhood – bird feeders and communal unisex bird baths are open and available (you just have to look for them). Lastly, birds can teach us about freedom, showing off our true colors, adapting to the seasons and my favorite – if you want to be successful (i.e., get the worm) you need to start the day early! 

Kintsugi 7/1/23 - aka Kintsukuroi, is the Japanese art of putting broken pottery pieces back together with gold (you can clearly see where the pottery was repaired). Think about this for a minute, it actually highlights the flaws and imperfections! It vividly illustrates that something broken can be repaired and is useful again. What if we applied this to humans? What if we embraced the fact that we might have been broken (either emotionally or physically) in the past, but we got put back together and we are still useful? Instead of hiding our flaws, embrace them and show them off because we’re proud of them. These imperfections are evidence that we survived and we are still functioning. Instead of shouting to the world what we think makes us golden, fill in the cracks of your weak spots or defects with gold and show these off to the world!